S8E4 - M. Brady
In this episode of More Than Work, host Rabiah interviews Michael “M.” Brady, a psychotherapist and musician, who shares his journey from being a professional tennis player to discovering his passion for psychotherapy and music. M. discusses his long career in therapy, his struggle with anxiety and vulnerability, and how these experiences influenced his album. He also reflects on the impacts of early humiliations, the importance of creativity, and coping with personal losses. Throughout, M emphasizes the value of embracing vulnerability and taking risks in life.
00:00 Introduction to More Than Work Podcast
00:34 Meet M. Brady: Psychotherapist and Musician
01:29 M's Journey into Psychotherapy
02:48 The Intersection of Sports and Psychology
04:43 Overcoming Personal Challenges
08:29 Exploring the Concept of Unprocessed Losses
18:14 M's Return to Music
25:35 Discussing Musical Influences
28:17 Challenges of Performing Live
30:01 Overcoming Personal Barriers
33:15 Inspirations and Advice
35:47 Fun and Personal Questions
40:46 Closing Remarks and Contact Information
Note from Rabiah (Host):
I’ve been slow to edit podcasts this year. But I still have a passion for sharing others’ stories. Thank you for sticking with me and there are over 100 episodes in the backlog so you can listen to more if you haven’t already. I’ll be setting up more interviews and getting more episodes out soon.
M. Brady is exactly who I was looking for when I started More Than Work. He has a job but he also has a passion, and he is pursuing it in his own way, in his own time. I related to this as I thought about comedy lately. M was very open about his past and what he went through to get to where he is today, the creator of an EP, in addition to being a psychotherapist. I was tempted to sneak in a little therapy when we chatted but resisted! Enjoy the listen and check out the tunes!
Host Rabiah (London) chats with M. Brady (South Carolina here but usually Boston), a psychotherapist who is also a musician.
Transcript
Rabiah Coon: [00:00:00] This is More Than Work, the podcast reminding you that your self worth is made up of more than your job title. Each week, I'll talk to a guest about how they discovered that for themselves. You'll hear about what they did, what they're doing, and who they are. I'm your host, Rabiah. I work in IT, perform stand up comedy, write, and of course podcast.
Thank you for listening. Here we go!
Hey everyone, welcome back to More Than Work. I am really excited because this guest actually came to me via one of my favorite podcasts and fellow squadcasters, Pam Uzzel, who does Art Heals All Wounds, and he was a guest there, and he's a guest here and so maybe if you really love him, you'll go listen to him over there too.
Because I'd love to give Pam a shout as well. But it's Michael Brady. He is a psychotherapist and musician. And as a musician, he's M [00:01:00] Brady, but we'll call him Michael for this one. So thanks for being a guest on more than work, Michael.
Michael Brady: Thanks for having me. Great to be here.
Rabiah Coon: Yeah. I'm glad to, glad to get to meet you. I know I put you through it to schedule.
So first of all, where am I talking to you from today?
Michael Brady: Well, you normally would find me from the mountains of western Massachusetts, but I happen to be in South Carolina at the moment, visiting my daughter who's in college down here.
Rabiah Coon: Nice. Okay, cool. And of course, um, I'm in London, but sound like this cause I'm from California. So first of all, I think I mentioned you do psychotherapy. Let's just talk about your, you being a psychotherapist and how long you've been doing that and kind of what, just what you want to tell, tell me about that work and what it does for you.
Michael Brady: Sure. I've been a practicing psychotherapist since I was 30. I'm now 63, so I've been at it for a while. And honestly, it's, it's, I begin by saying it's just a true honor to be able to sit with people and, and share their lives in such an intimate way. It's, it's, it's really quite a remarkable experience.
I pinch myself [00:02:00] most days and go, I actually get to do this for work. So it's something I'm really grateful for. And it's really a lot of, a lot of meaning. It also became the inspiration, for the record that I made and, as well so we'll get to that later.
Rabiah Coon: Awesome. Yeah. And so, I mean, I, I just, I'm pretty open about it that I've been in therapy for many years off and on or with different people. Did you decide to go into therapy to help people or how did you decide to go into that as a profession? Cause even you went into it 30 years ago and I definitely think that the landscape has changed and how people talk about mental health so how'd you decide to go into that years ago?
Michael Brady: that's a great question and, you know, honestly, I, I sort of wish that many clients when they're interviewing therapists, great question to ask. I had one person ask me exactly that. And, and the story I told that person, and I'll tell you now is, I got interested in psychotherapy mainly because, I was a professional tennis player in my previous life and I came to [00:03:00] understand really clearly that the role of the psychology obviously plays in one's realizing one's potential. And, and I think, hopefully most therapists have gone through some sort of suffering themselves and which has basically, moved them into therapy. And I, I wouldn't see a therapist, frankly, unless they've been in therapy themselves extensively, because you just, until you've been on the other side of the couch, you just, you can't really know what it's like A. And B, you want, you want someone that's kind of been there to sort of mind the landscape of, of sort of their inner worlds to, if they're going to help you as well. So, um, that's, that sort of led me initially as I had sort of a fall from grace and in my, in my tennis career. And in my sort of attempt to sort of find my way back into the best of my game again, I got fascinated by all sorts of different avenues into helping myself realize my potential.
And hopefully that's what I do with my clients as well. And it's become not only a personal interest, but really a passion as well.[00:04:00]
Rabiah Coon: Yeah. Well, in sports, I mean, I have a nephew who plays baseball and he's amazing. And he has this kind of mindset that I find interesting, but I, I was talking to him about, I heard about the yips, like,
Michael Brady: Yeah,
Rabiah Coon: when people kind of lose their ability to play like a pitcher really is where it relates mostly and I thought that was interesting. And I do stand up comedy and I know there's a mindset you have to get into as well because sometimes you'll be on stage and just forget what you were saying or something, which is similar to the yips I'd say it's the comedy yips.
But, what was it for you if you want to share with tennis that? Yeah. What happened or that occurred that got you into more delving into the psychology of things?
Michael Brady: Sure. Well, um, I won't give you the gory story, but the, the long and short of it is, is that, , I had sort of lived a somewhat of a charmed tennis life. The game had come quite naturally to me and sort of little did I know, but actually I sort of played in what sports psychologist called a [00:05:00] flow state for the early part of my career, which is that sort of state where you're just locked in, you're super present.
Um, you're not really concerned about winning or losing. You're just absorbed in your senses, you know. Movement is like a dance. It's this, it's this incredible place that, that, that, you know, one of the terms is called the sports peak experience, the highest expression of that state. And what I didn't realize is from when I started playing from 11 to about 16, I played in that state naturally, and I didn't really know better. I didn't know there was another state until I had a series of events that happened, that basically resulted in me having this fall from grace from being one of the better players and nationally ranked player and all that kind of stuff into sort of basically being a has been
over the course of a year. I mean, essentially the short version of the story is, is I qualified for the national championships and ended up showing up a day late because I got the dates wrong. And in an order, if you don't, you don't show up for the [00:06:00] national championships, you don't get a national ranking.
And so if I had showed up, I would have probably been top 50 in the country, which means scholarships. It means coaches. It means all sorts of things. So that really rally from a time when everything came easily. And then I had a couple other events. Bottom line is that I just sort of lost my way and, pulled back from tennis and, got involved in the drugs as my way of coping with a series of disappointments.
And I sort of went off the rails for a couple of years and when I finally woke up, if you will, and sort of rededicated myself to tennis what I discovered was that I'd sort of lost that flow state. It became more mechanical. It became, I got more attached to winning, didn't play in my senses as much.
I got more conservative. This game wasn't as creative. You get the idea. So I ended up spending really next. eight or nine years really just trying to go find that state of consciousness again. And so to do that, I studied Buddhism, I meditated, I studied Zen art, I got involved in all [00:07:00] kinds of things, that, you know, really helped me tap in and really helped me realize my potential.
Again, I didn't quite fall back into that same state as much as I did when I was younger, but, um, I learned a lot trying.
Rabiah Coon: Yeah. And thanks for sharing that. I mean, I know there's a difficult thing in kind of going back and looking at something like that. Especially when It's not a place you are anymore, but I think sharing that kind of part of our experience or journey, I always feel cheesy saying journey,
Michael Brady: I hear you.
Rabiah Coon: like, you know, it does, does matter.
And certainly I think a lot of people could probably relate to things just changing in their early adulthood and having to find their way. And so you have an essay on your website, which we'll be linking to eventually anyway, in the show notes and then later on. But, um, so I did read a little bit, so I'm asking a leading question now, [00:08:00] basically.
At what point did you also have an experience with music that kind of correlated with this, you know, experience with tennis? And I guess just get into that and that'll get us into, to your experience with music overall. Yeah.
Michael Brady: that sounds like a good segue and you're, you're correct to sit to hear them as all related. And I think one of the things that maybe we'll get to in this conversation that things relate all the way back to when we're actually much easier and they sort of build on themselves. But to sort of take you to the story, I was 25 years old.
I was, recovering from an injury on the tennis tour. So I was taking a few months off. And I was living in the same town as my brother, who's was in an indie rock band in town. And, I came to learn that the bass player was leaving the band in four months and I had played guitar casually for a number of years.
And so I thought, oh, you know, I didn't play bass, but I got enough finger dexterity. I can learn the bass. I mean, how hard can it be? So I, I practiced furiously for the next four months to the [00:09:00] point that I could actually play all the songs pretty confidently. However, when it came to actually playing live, that was another matter altogether.
I was actually feeling pretty confident walking into the audition. As I say in my essay, you know, as I was driving over there, I heard that Birds song, "So You Want to Be a Rock and Roll Star", and I said, ah, the gods have lined up for me. This is an omen. It portends my success today. Um, so I was really feeling pretty good, but then I walked into this old ramshackle garage, which was the location of the audition.
And, and then once I saw that open space where the bass player was going to stand, I suddenly started getting this anxiety sort of building up in me. I thought, ah, this is no big deal. I can handle this. Um, but that anxiety quickly turned to a full fledged, uh, severe, severe panic attack. I'd never had one before, never had one since.
I was literally, my legs were convulsing. I thought, am I having epileptic seizure? What's going on? Um, in any event, I was so [00:10:00] incapacitated that I literally couldn't, I had to sit down cause I was shaking so much. I couldn't, my legs, my arms were shaking. I couldn't play the bass. There was no way. So I, I left that audition without playing a note.
And , so as you can imagine, there's a lot of embarrassment. There's a certain amount of humiliation, but, um, but what's interesting is that I walked away from music after that. But what I was really was walking away from was just like this vulnerability thing. It's like, okay, I've had enough of this vulnerability stuff, with music.
And it was different than, I think it's different than tennis, but I was able to come back from tennis because I had a baseline of expertise there. Whereas with music, I really didn't. I was kind of a wannabe bass player, wannabe guitar player, really, to some degree. And so I, I just, I just walked away from it, even though music is one of my great passions.
And I got, you know, in the last 20 years, I became a shrink and I was like, I got very curious about what the heck, why, why did I walk away from this? Why did I walk away from tennis? The way I did, like, what's up with that? I come from a good family. I, I, [00:11:00] I was pretty resilient in my second part of my tennis career.
Um, what is up with that? And so I started researching panic and anxiety, but, but what, what I really got interested in was, this notion of what's called unprocessed losses and, and trying to understand why did I, why didn't I have more resiliency and so all of that sort of led to this, to, to this curiosity about what happens when difficult events happen to people, uh, particularly when they're young and they're formative and their emotional DNA, if you will, is forming.
And what I came to conclude was that there's a lot of, you know, what I could call small T events, like small trauma events versus see, the big T traumas we know about. You know, car wrecks, landmines, if you're a soldier that you're, you know, all big stuff, we know what those are like, but the small T events are, are little things that, that maybe we don't process because either [00:12:00] We're too embarrassed to admit something happened or, uh, parents don't know what, don't know to talk about it with something.
But there's lots of events that can happen. I'll give you a couple examples from my history that just to explain this. Um, I once had it when I first started therapy my therapist said, Hey, tell, give me an autobiography, tell me about your life. I'm like, I can give you my autobiography in 10 minutes.
What do I need to go write this stuff down? But when I did write it down, I discovered a couple things that were really formative. The first was I was in a different school every year from kindergarten to seventh grade. And then a new one at ninth And right away I was like, Oh, so this is why I was kind of socially anxious in high school and had trouble asking girls out and so on,
right? And it's like, it instantly clicked in. It's like, okay. And then I flashed to another event that, that is amusing at this point, but it wasn't that I totally buried, which is, I don't know if you know about the Pinewood Derby. If you've ever heard of the Pinewood Derby, this is a Cub Scout thing where they give you a block of wood.
That's basically it. Little square piece of wood. And they say, go home with your dad and build an Indy race car and come back. [00:13:00] And then we're going to race it, right? So I got sent home with this block of wood and neither my dad nor myself knew what an Indy race car even looked like. And we didn't really know much about woodworking.
The long and short is we just rounded off the corners and basically had the equivalent. W above we spray painted it black and then painted a little black five on the side and I was all proud of this and until the day you show up at the at the big event right and you have this big table with like 200 cars and then you walk to the table and look around and I see like 190 indie race cars right and they're all have literally no wood left on them they're these teams they've got stripes also professionally painted right And of course, all the kids started laughing and howling at my VW bug, basically.
And I just remember that was then the insult injury, when it came time for the cars to race mine, basically the wheels fell off and fell off the track. So incredibly humiliating event for a kid. I just completely buried it, but it's like these kinds of events [00:14:00] land and they, they, they set things up and they set things in motion.
And then we, I think we just sort of make decisions about how do we not get hurt again. And I think one of the ways that many people do that is, um, They avoid vulnerability. They avoid exposure. Um, they, they create strategies, um, so that they are not as vulnerable. And so anyway, that kind of became my, my decision that I made, I think, post this music experience was like, I'm going to do what I do well.
I'm going to do therapy. I'm going to teach tennis after, you know, at that point, um, you know, after my career was over, and I'm just going to avoid stuff that's hard. And, you know, So that's kind of how, how that went for many years until sort of the next portion of the story.
Rabiah Coon: Yeah. And I think it is, it is funny because there are those early humiliations that you do remember and they're not, you're right. they're usually not this big traumatic thing, but they do form what you do. I remember for me, like just, I made a mistake in spelling. I didn't hear, I'll never forget because it was in like kindergarten or something and I was like, [00:15:00] They asked you to spell fan and I spelled van and I, I was, I mean, I'm a perfect, well, I'm a perfectionist, which that this is not my therapy session or we get into that, but I can tell you why, but I just remember that.
They do change the way we behave later on, like you said, which is interesting.
And I think you finding that out for yourself probably made you more compassionate towards your patients, I assume. And,
Michael Brady: Oh, very much
Rabiah Coon: yeah,
Michael Brady: Yeah, very much so. You know, what's interesting about these small events is that they actually register in the brain the same way as, you know, Big T, Big stress events register. The brain literally doesn't know the difference if you do a brain MRI of someone with a small kind of humiliation or embarrassment.
You would think it would be very different than someone going through a big trauma, but in fact the brain registers the same thing. And what's interesting is that we store those memories and we [00:16:00] just sort of make decisions, and sort of the soundtrack for that part of our brain that stores all of our old memories is that Who tune, I won't get fooled again, right?
We store those memories like, man, I can't let that happen. And it's sort of, it sort of gets our protective system engaged and then we create all sorts of strategies to be safe in the world in whatever, in whatever way we do it.
Rabiah Coon: Yeah, for sure. And also just you having the panic attack and the way you did, I remember the first time I saw someone have a panic attack, it was a friend, like when we were in high school and we were at a band outing like for the marching band and he just like had a panic attack and it seemed like a heart attack or something.
And then I know in my later twenties and up to the last couple of years, like, um, now know what they are and can stop them in a way, but like that there's such a hard thing to have because unless you've had one, you don't know. So I think even you having that experience is helpful. And I do agree with you about like not going to therapist as a minute therapy, because [00:17:00] honestly, people I know who are studying psychology, I'm like, who are you studying this for?
Cause you are something else. I'm like,
please get help from someone else. Like, please.
Michael Brady: Yeah, for sure.
Rabiah Coon: Yeah, so it's funny. Um, so it, one thing, cause we're going to talk about, I think your album, cause I mean, I think, you know, it's, so you're doing the psychotherapy, which fulfills you, but it, you know, you got back into music and, I was just thinking about when I was going to talk to you, how, cause I was thinking about my, the therapist I know, and like, I don't, or that I'm, I've gone to, or, or go to, and thinking about like realizing they have a life outside of that.
Yeah. It's kind of like when you're a kid and you see your teacher out with their kids for the first time and you're like what? Like what they're, why are they at the store? Why do they have other kids with them? And, you know, and I think it's the same with like a therapist. I'm like, Oh, I wonder if my therapist likes music, you know, we never talked about that.
And so, um, [00:18:00] so this could, you know, this is kind of insightful. Like, Oh, they, therapists do have lives. I forget. But so how did you decide, cause you not only got back into music, but you have an album that you've, you've created and that's even a bigger step in getting back into music. So how'd all that happen for you?
Michael Brady: Yeah, well, there's a series of events really that sort of led to it. I mean, basically I, I, I've loved music for a long time and it got to a point where a good friend of mine, I had shared that I, that, that had played years ago. And, and he was a musician and someone maybe we'll hear about later.
Uh, but he basically sort of encouraged me to start again. And so long and short is I started and I started writing songs and playing. I was still carrying sort of the, the leftovers, if you will, of this, thou shall not be vulnerable, right? The first commandment coming out of experience like that.
And so I wrote songs for years and years, but I was like, I'm not sharing this with anybody. I just [00:19:00] didn't, you know, there's, there are vulnerable songs are pretty intimate. Um, I've got sort of this, this kind of voice that's very sort of moody and emotional. And, uh, I just wasn't prepared to be that vulnerable.
And I've come to conclude you have no business being an artist if you're not willing to be vulnerable. Um, So basically, so for years and years, that was kind of a memo. I had sort of an imposter voice that was like, Oh, you're kind of a wannabe. You're not really a musician, you know, that voice, right? That sort of had a critic voice.
Oh, you're to this, you do that. Right. So I sort of, uh, that, that went on for 15 years probably. Um, and about that time I started experiencing this intense cognitive dissonance when I was realizing that, you know, gosh, I'm encouraging my clients to be vulnerable and take risks. And here I am with the skeletons in my own musical closet, if you will, that I'm really not taking on.
And I just, honestly, I just couldn't tolerate that and that level of discomfort. And I'm like, this isn't, this is crazy. I [00:20:00] have to take this on. And at that point it's also getting older. I'm like, you know, I'm not going to go to my death bed and never have really honored this, this, this music that I love so much.
And about the same time, I decided that everything that I was writing about was really not nearly as interesting and as compelling and frankly, inspiring as the stories that I witnessed every day in my office. And so basically I decided, you know what, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to go full on with this thing.
I'm going to embrace vulnerability, sort of be the Brené Brown poster child is my goal in life. And so what I decided to do is just make this record and that I would, it was going to be a concept album and it would be written from the first person voice of not my clients, of course, cause I would never write songs of any real clients.
Uh, these are all fictional depictions of universal themes and therapy, but of course I'm influenced by what I witnessed. Basically I just have went into character and just started sort of imagining myself being on the other side of the couch and dealing with any number of issues. Um, [00:21:00] and by the way, many of my songs on the record are, are actually almost conversations that are intrapsychic conversations, like from one part of the personality, sort of encouraging another part, trying to get up the courage to do something or to confront something and sort of getting pulled both directions.
Most of my songs have sort of a struggle and then some sort of way out, some sort of resolution. Sort of folks wrestle with that across a bunch of different dimension dimensions different themes. So some of the songs are you know, there's a song for example called "Rise" that people listen to it Oh, that's a great love song like well It's actually a song from one part of the self sort of encouraging and another part afraid to be out and take risks takes to anxious sort of like me but not about me.
Um, anyway So, uh, there's a lot of storylines, but the bottom line was, is that, that, that became the project that I said, you know, this is where I'm going to confront this personal history, this avoidance. And I was just going to really embrace vulnerability and creativity was going to be the pathway to do it.
And so that's how it came to pass.
Rabiah Coon: And then [00:22:00] the fact that you're, you said you didn't share the things and now you are sharing the things and
Michael Brady: Right.
Rabiah Coon: that is a big deal, um, to do that. And I guess just looking at music in general, I mean, because I'm just thinking, you can like music and not do an album, or you can play guitar but just do covers, or whatever, so, did you realize that you were a creative person who needed a creative outlet like all along? Or do you think even tennis or something was a creative outlet for you before?
Michael Brady: Well, that's a great question. Again, a wonderful segue of sort of adding up the events, um, together, cause you're correct. Tennis at its highest form is a creative experience for sure. And, you know, I, there's a real buzz just sort of locking in to the present moment. like that. And so when I, when I retired, I did start to get sort of thinking how else can I manifest as always been interested in the arts and in music.
I wasn't ready to play music yet, but what I did to do is I started painting, um, began, you know, one evening when I decided I [00:23:00] hate Hallmark cards, but I want to send out Christmas cards to people. So I invited a bunch of people over and made a shit ton of margaritas and, um, said, all right. Let's get the watercolors out and let's roll people.
And so that started a series of abstractions. And then I got fascinated with painting and I painted actually for the next 10, 12, 15 years or so. And so I have a whole, a whole period of my life and it's all I did was painted. In fact, the album cover, by the way, um, that is a painting of mine, um,
Rabiah Coon: Oh, cool.
Michael Brady: I did also a bunch of videos that I decided to, um, create sort of art videos to some of the music. And, you know, just to sort of integrate a little bit of my artistic brain into the, into the music world, you can
Rabiah Coon: So did you do any, sorry, did you do any training for painting or did you just?
Michael Brady: None, no training now. It's just all self taught. Same with music. I've never had a guitar lesson or a voice lesson. Just sort of just follow my instincts.
Rabiah Coon: how dare you? No, I'm just kidding. Oh, that's really cool. I mean, I guess, yeah, it's easier for you to tell people to go [00:24:00] for it. And if you're putting your money where your mouth is, you
Michael Brady: Yeah, I like that. And it's, it's truly experience has been honestly one of the most transformative experience I've ever had, honestly. Um, and to embrace vulnerability in this way is terrifying. I mean, it's not like I'm like, woohoo, I get to talk to Rabiah and you it's like, okay, here we go. I'm committed, committed to vulnerability.
Let's roll buddy. I'm not someone that really wants to be front and center necessarily. I'm kind of a quiet introvert, but, um, but I also, you know, I felt like I just have to do that. And also, honestly, I feel really proud of the music. I think, um, some really, some good stuff came out of it.
And I can imagine if I was listening, I'd be going, Oh God, a music, an album about therapy written from the, this must be some, either some really dark, morbid stuff, or it's like some kind of, uh, kumbaya experience. You um, "We Are the World" to acoustic guitar or something. And actually that was my biggest goal was to not make that record.
I really wanted it to have an edge, have it be, you know, kind of moody and, and, [00:25:00] but also full of possibility as well.
Rabiah Coon: I really, I really liked it. And what I heard of it, I didn't, I don't know if I heard everything, but, um, what I've heard, I've liked.
And, you know, I just think your experience kind of resonated with me. And that's one reason, one reason I was like, when we were in touch with each other, it was like, yeah, they would come on because. And I don't usually talk that casually. I guess I'm talking to you like a therapist now. Um, I'm trying to avoid the real subjects and getting to other stuff. No, I'm just kidding. But, um, but yeah, and then I just, I like music too. So I just want to ask you, like, as far as music goes, I mean, the album you made, is this the album of music that like you also listen to, or who are your influences in general, like, or even favorite artists, I mean, if they're not your influences.
Michael Brady: Gosh, the list is so long. Um, but, you know, I actually recently had someone who, asked me this, who gave me the highest compliment I could ever have, [00:26:00] which was, you know, she said, she said, your music reminds me of "The National". I'm like,
Rabiah Coon: Oh, yeah. Mm
Michael Brady: died and went to heaven kind of moment. These are one of my favorite bands, and I, obviously it's a very inflated view, but I kind of got a little bit of that sort of dark, some of those dark tones, baritone, uh, uh, kind of sounds. But, and then somebody else said, you mentioned that, that the song sounded like, you know, 11 sort of prayers, um, honoring the human condition, which felt like the biggest compliments that I could have.
So The National is a big influence, um, Bon Iver. Richard Thompson. I grew up in my early influence of a Canadian singer songwriter named Bruce Coburn. It was my first big true love. He's, uh, just one of these really super emotional, um, heartfelt singer songwriters. And he's, and I think some of my vocal delivery, I think, came from hundreds of hours of listening to him.
So those those are some of my influences, but you know, I'm just interested in anybody that's writing emotional music. I can be moved by really, I mean, I'm sort of referring, referencing [00:27:00] indie stuff, but I can be equally moved by, um, some of the minimalist stuff of like Steve Reich and Philip Glass and any music that, that, that creates emotion, I'm there, you know?
Rabiah Coon: Well, I don't know if you heard the new Billy Joel song, too. I mean, it was completely He didn't write it. He wrote the music, apparently, or contributed some big, big fat chords to it, but the lyrics are, are deep, and it's not what he's, I mean, he's done some, but they're not his, and, and it, it, um, I don't know, it's interesting when these big emotional songs what they can do, you know, and how they can just move people.
Colin Hay is one of my absolute favorite people. And he has this great, brilliant sense of humor when he talks, but then his songs are deeply emotional, you know, even when they're upbeat and I just think it's, it's just. It's such a cool way of people expressing themselves, you know?
Michael Brady: Yeah, no, I agree. I couldn't write a , [00:28:00] a happy pop song if I wanted to, I don't think. Uh, I'd like to think that that doesn't mean the music is super dark and depressing, but it's definitely, um, uh, you know, rmotion or go home kind of is sort of my, my, the only way I know how to, to play music or, or sing.
So.
Rabiah Coon: Yeah, yeah, and What what are your plans with the album? Are you playing live at all or do you want to or what's yeah,
Michael Brady: Well, that, that, if, if I'm going to really, um, be, if I'm going to go full on, um, vulnerability, that's going to be the next step. The reality is I tried to play live a couple of times and both times my vocal chords basically just seized up honestly. Anxiety just took hold. I was great. 10 minutes before I was like, I sound pretty good.
Walked on stage and boom, sound like Mickey mouse. Um, So, um, I'm, I'm working up to it. I, I'm sort of committed to playing live and I'm going, I'm going to do that. That's going to be next. Right now I'm just hoping some folks might listen, you know, I, I think there's some [00:29:00] interesting music there and, um, I just, uh, obviously trying to be an absolute nobody and have anybody actually have a listen is, is a bit of a challenge.
So I'm hoping folks will give it a chance and spread it around if it's something that they like. So right now I'm, I'm, I'm marketing and, and just trying to get it out there, which is very hard to do. It's hard to get anybody to sort of respond to an email or a music journalist to review any music journalists out there.
That would be fabulous. But, um, and then, you know, I'm really, I think now that I've sort of had sort of let Genie out of the bottle, if you will, I sort of, I'm super excited about what's next. I've got a bunch of songs that are sort of waiting for me when I'm done marking this.
I'm really looking forward to this sort of than to doing this again honestly. It was just so exciting to have my ears and headphones for about three years and and just waking up every morning. Go. How did that tracks? How did that was as good as I thought it was? I was like, I don't know. It was as good as whatever.
I just love being in it. You know, it's just an incredible experience. So, yeah, that's what's next. I hope. Yeah,
Rabiah Coon: cool. Yeah. And I think, yeah, with playing, you can do it once [00:30:00] you're ready.
Michael Brady: Yeah. How did you? Did you? Is it hard for you to get up on stage first time?
time
Rabiah Coon: The first time, not as much, you know, I think just because I mean, comedy is different. I, it was stuff I wrote and. I mean, it was, I was nervous. I mean, I remember, I think it's the most nervous I've been for a gig for sure. But I think it was just such a, a thing that I'd put off for so long, kind of for, for different reasons than you, I suppose, but like still, like, I just didn't think I belonged up there.
And I thought a lot of it was tied around my body image too. And just saying, well, I'm like, no one will want to see me up there. This is horrible stuff you say to yourself, you know, like, who's going to want to see me up there? And they're going to laugh at me. They're not going to laugh at me. at me and whatever.
Um, and just kind of, kind of thinking about just myself in different ways and that I didn't belong, but then, you know, I think the truth is like, if you're there, you belong there, you know, you've,[00:31:00]
Michael Brady: Yeah,
Rabiah Coon: someone's put you there. You put yourself there, open mics, you, everyone's there. It doesn't matter if they want it or not, they can show up and do it.
And I think there's something about the people who can just get up and make a complete fool of themselves because. They don't, they don't have any idea that they're not good. And I think it's the people who are good have a harder time with that. I don't know. I mean, that's kind of a jerk thing to say, but I, I have found the people who are really lacking in any self awareness and are really awful.
It almost, I don't know if they, yeah, they're even aware. Cause I've come back. Oh, that was great. It's like, what were you, where were you? You know? Um, yeah, that's kind of,
Michael Brady: I
Rabiah Coon: very nice, but
Michael Brady: I know what I know what you speak for sure.
Rabiah Coon: yeah. So I think it's just a matter of like. Like when I've talked to comics, a lot of times I'll talk at a gig with people and some people will be really nervous at their first time or early on and I kind of, and what I do to myself too, is [00:32:00] I set my goal. And so sometimes my goal is just to perform. Like I don't have it in me to do anything else, but just to perform and get off stage. And I just tell them like, what, what, what do you want to do? Like, are you trying to have the best gig anyone's ever had and get on the biggest stage ever? Are you just trying to go up and say your material? And if that's what you're trying to do and you do that, then you've achieved it. And so for you, it's like, even if your goal is just to go up and sing one of your songs and that's the objective and it doesn't have to, nothing else has to happen, it doesn't have to be for people to like it, who cares, that's the objective you can achieve it.
Um, I think when I start to get more in my head about, I want to be the funniest tonight, you know, and things like that, where I can't have any control over that. Really. That's when I get messed up,
Michael Brady: Yeah, right.
That's it. You're just in the moment. Then let the chips fall where they may after that for sure.
for
Rabiah Coon: Yeah. Yeah. And it's never going to be that bad. I mean, it just isn't like, I don't know. Cause it's just, you know, the thing, the thing I learned in comedy the most, and I think it applies to music or anything is like, no matter how [00:33:00] that gig goes right then. You just have to do the next gig. If it's the best gig you ever had, you still have to do the next one.
If it's the worst gig you ever had, you still have to do the next one. And that one can go how it goes. And that's the kind of beauty of all of it. It just kind of keeps going.
I do want to ask you about one thing, which is Brené Brown, because you mentioned her. And we just kind of skipped by her a little bit, but Brené Brown was definitely one of the most influential people to me in the last decade.
Although I can't say I always follow what I've read, but what was the book that got you? Mine was "Gifts of Imperfection". What was the book that got you in or podcast or whatever?
Michael Brady: It was the book, yeah, the book "Dare Greatly" was the book that got me in. And, uh, you know, of course I saw her TED talk that went viral. And you know, I, I kind of knew this stuff intellectually, but I wasn't really ready to integrate it. I sort of knew professionally and all this stuff but when I read it and was really thinking, ready, I was ready to be vulnerable myself she was the voice that put me over the edge. And it was just like, ah, this is, this [00:34:00] is, life is short. There's only one way to live here. And I just, it was just like, okay, this is what, this is what I have to do. And she would definitely inspired me for sure.
Rabiah Coon: Awesome. Was your family supportive of you doing the music and stuff or?
Michael Brady: Yeah, for sure. Well, it's funny because my brother is the rockstar of the family. I have an extreme, extremely talented brother. And so, you know, one of the, one of the other things I was overcoming in this whole project was just like, how can I be making music when my brother's truly an extraordinary songwriter? It's like, uh, but, uh, but everybody was very supportive. And, but the hardest part was for me, it was just overcoming, okay. My role in the family is the shrink and the tennis pro and he's the musician and the creative exec, uh, at a big advertising company, super creative guy. So anyway, overcoming that was a big deal to just kind of transcend my role in my family.
It was part of the process.
Rabiah Coon: Yeah. Yeah. That's a big one. Very relatable too, like that's your label what are you, what are you doing? Cool. All right. [00:35:00] So the one question I ask everybody is just like, do you have any advice or mantra you want to share? And I know that especially asking certain people in certain professions don't like to share advice at all, but like just maybe something that works for you that you think maybe will be helpful for other people.
Michael Brady: I mean, yeah, I won't wax poetic for long. I'll just simply say, I've just learned to not believe in the concept of failure, honestly. I just, I feel like all things are just learning opportunities and, um, you know, uh, life is short, short, take some chances. Don't be afraid to fall down, you know. I have a song called learning how to fall, which is just sort of, that's what it's really about.
And, uh, anyway, yeah, that, that's, that's what I would say. Yeah.
Rabiah Coon: Cool.
All right. So the last five questions I have are called the fun five, and they're just asking everybody. So the first one is what is the oldest t shirt you have in still wear?
Michael Brady: This is [00:36:00] not hard. Um, I have a t shirt that's black and it has five images of Tai Chi masters in various styles. stages of poses. Tai Chi, as you may know, is the ancient Chinese martial art. And so these are, uh, five different poses. And, A, it looks really cool. And I won't lie, back in my late 20s, when I was searching the world for my soulmate, it was my favorite dating prop.
I don't have a dog that I could march down the boulevard as a conversation piece, but I did have my Tai Chi shirt and had the secret fantasy that some evolved person would say, Oh, Tai Chi, you do Tai Chi? And would lead to a conversation. And so, yes, did I wear that shirt relentlessly? I didn't.
Rabiah Coon: Did it work?
Michael Brady: I got a couple conversations out of it. I don't know that I found my true love per se, but it was fun trying.
Rabiah Coon: Yeah. No, I'll leave it. Um, okay. So, cause I'm still, I'm still doing [00:37:00] that in my forties and, uh, yeah, I have props. All right. So, uh, if every day was really Groundhog's day, like people. I mean, it's not as much now, but during, during, I wrote this question during the part of the pandemic when we were locked down, but, um, if it, if it was really groundhog, groundhog's day, nevertheless, um, what song would you have your alarm clock set to play every morning?
Michael Brady: Yeah, it's a tough one, but you know what I came to is this, this beautiful piece that the title matches the request here. The title is called "Opening", which metaphorically fits and this is a instrumental piece by Philip Glass. The version I prefer, there's many versions, and the version I prefer is the electric guitar version, because I play guitar, by an incredible guitarist by the name of Sergio Sorrentino. And this is this beautiful, repetitive, hypnotic song, but isn't real new agey, so it's like, you know, cheesy. It's just a lot of movement, very sophisticated, even though it's very repetitive and hypnotic. So [00:38:00] that's what I, that would definitely be what I'd wake up to every morning.
Rabiah Coon: Awesome. All right, cool. And then coffee or tea or neither?
Michael Brady: Coffee, always.
Rabiah Coon: Yeah,
Michael Brady: And finally, my sister has, uh, given me grief for years because I, I drank light, wimpy coffee and she's traveled the world where they only drink strong coffee and she finally talked me into drinking the hard stuff, so I've been converted.
Rabiah Coon: Cool. I know. Yeah, it's American coffee's different for sure. All right, can you think of a time that you laughed sorry you cried or just something that cracks you up when you think of it? And this just entertains me really
Michael Brady: Yeah, no, no, no, this is an easy one. Um, I don't think I've ever laughed more hysterically, and I still, every time I think about it, it just cracks me up. And this is the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. You know what scene I'm going to tell you. It's the, the Black Knight scene when he chops off the arm and blood goes splurting everywhere.
Ah, flesh wound. He chops off the other arm. And I just, I just find that to be absolutely hysterical.
Rabiah Coon: Yeah, there's nothing left
Michael Brady: Exactly.[00:39:00]
Rabiah Coon: So stupid. That's perfect. All right The last one which i'll see if this one's hard you've been these questions have been easy for you. Some people like freak out and that gets cut from the the edit. But um who inspires you right now?
Michael Brady: You know, there's two people that inspire me. I hope it's okay to do two. I'll
Rabiah Coon: Yeah, of course.
Michael Brady: Unfortunately, they're both cancer related. Um, the friend that I mentioned earlier, who encouraged me to start writing music again, a wonderful man by the name of Stephen May is my best friend for many, many years.
And he actually wrote the instrumental pieces on three of the tracks on the record. And I just sang over him. I sadly, he passed away last year. Um, rare cancer at a too young age. And I mentioned him as an inspiration, A, because, you know, he encouraged me to play music, but really because he's the most creative man I've ever met.
And this is a man that, routinely would complete three fully orchestrated songs in a week while he's working on one of his four novels, while he was creating board games while he was doing a [00:40:00] cable television show that he was host, this zany show and taking his children amazing adventure. I mean, he's extraordinary guy that just had to create, right?
And he just revolved around creativity. It's just inspiration. So he's somebody. And the second person is my mom who's, um, who's fighting cancer right now and just an inspiration to watch her take it on. And just sort of honor the whole process, the sadness, but also honoring sort of the gift of, of the time she has and, uh, being fully alive and not getting stuck in the hard stuff.
So those are the two big inspirations. Yeah.
Rabiah Coon: yeah, well, sorry about the loss of your friend and, um,
Michael Brady: Yeah. Thank you.
Rabiah Coon: you're honoring him by continuing to do the music. So, yeah, and hopefully your mom gets, gets through this.
Michael Brady: Thank you.
Rabiah Coon: cool. Well, so Michael, I mean, it's, it's been awesome to talk to you. It's been really fun and, just, You're so chill. You're so calm. So it's, it's just, um, just easy.
Uh, so I just want to make sure we, we [00:41:00] state like, where do you want people to go to find you, your website or wherever else?
Michael Brady: Sure. Thank you. Um, well, my artist name is M Brady. The Michael Brady was taken by another musician. So I became M Brady, M dot Brady. I might add there is an M Brady on Apple Music that doesn't have a dot. So M dot Brady will get you to my, um, record on any streaming site; Spotify, Apple, those are the big ones, obviously.
Um, if you want to check out any of my videos, I do have a YouTube channel that you can find. Um, by the search "M Brady music YouTube". And, uh, then my, you can find all of it actually at my website, which is M Brady music dot com (mbradymusic.com). And one of the pieces I'll just mention, if there's any musicians out there that happened to listen to any of the music and find it interesting, or maybe even find my voice interesting, I'm, I'm interested in actually doing some collaboration for my next record where I'm sort of encouraging musicians to send me instrumental pieces somewhere between two and a half minutes and four. And if anybody wants to send me [00:42:00] anything that is emotional, a little bit, whatever it moves you. I sort of like the idea of just sort of seeing what appears musically, when a body of music lands, I often have this experience when I'm listening to music and there's a big long intro into a song before the vocals come.
And I'm like, I start hearing a melody in my head right away. And then I'm like, don't sing yet. I'm just getting this melody. And they come in and sing, it's like, ah, I wish I just had this. No, anyway, I'm kidding. But I, I, I just love sort of just seeing what appears and it takes me a while to create my own music cause I'm, I'm self taught. So it might take me many more hours than, than someone else. If somebody just hands me some, some music it's like, Oh, boom, we can make a song. So feel free to contribute. You can find a place to, to send me an instrumental, um, song on my website under the collaborate on my navigational bar.
Rabiah Coon: Awesome. Cool. Thank you, Michael. Really appreciate you being on More Than Work.
Michael Brady: It was really great to be here. Thank you. [00:43:00] All right. Take care.
Rabiah Coon: You can learn more about the guest and what was talked about in the show notes. Joe Maffia created the music you're listening to. You can find him on Spotify at Joe M A F F I A. Rob Metey does all the design, for which I am so grateful. You can find him online by searching Searching Rob, M-E-T-K-E.
Please leave a review if you like the show and get in touch if you have feedback or guest ideas. The pod is on all the social channels at At More Than Work Pod (@morethanworkpod) or at Rabiah comedy (@RabiahComedy) on TikTok. While being kind to others, don't forget to be kind to yourself.
