S6E18 - Tamara Doerksen
This week’s guest is Tamara Doerksen, multi-preneur, published author, yoga and meditation and mindfulness teacher, and a career transition and entrepreneur coach. She’s also the founder of the non-profit organization, Lonny’s Smile.
I chatted with Tamara from her home in Toronto, Canada. She started her career at a global consulting company where she spent 25 years. Around 2010, an initiative of the company around community contribution and responsibility, along with some personal circumstances with ailing parents, set Tamara off on her path to founding her own non-profit. You’ll hear the entire story around Lonny’s Smile which helps kids with congenital heart defects including the absolute synergy that led to choosing Camp OKI, the benefactor of the non-profit.
Through her work with Great Big Sea’s Murray Foster, Tamara ended up working in film production and then collaborating with Darren Portelli at Crazy D’s Prebiotic Sparkling Sodas. In talking through Tamara’s career transitions, we delve into having faith in oneself, transferable skills and our abilities to pursue various occupations within our careers.
Tamara uses yoga and meditation to ground herself and give her space. And, she is certified to teach both! Some just practiced these things during the pandemic, others like Tamara got certified!
Main topics:
Having multiple facets to your career
Processing grief over time
Non-profit work and founding a non-profit
Yoga and mindfulness practices
Saying “yes” and pursuing what you love
Note from Rabiah (Host):
I have had a chance to speak with quite a few people and sometimes I have a different connection with them. In this case, Tamara and I both lost a sibling though at very different times in our lives under different circumstances. (TW: we talk about the death of a sibling.) Her honouring her brother through a non-profit organization is something I really wanted to chat with her about and then we had a lot more to talk about too! Enjoy!
Rabiah (London) chats with Tamara (Toronto) about grief and loss, pursuing what you love and believing in yourself.
Transcript
Rabiah (Host): [00:00:35] This is More Than Work, the podcast reminding you that your self worth is made up of more than your job title. Each week I'll talk to a guest about how they discovered that for themselves. You'll hear about what they did, what they're doing, and who they are. I'm your host, Rabiah. I work in IT, perform standup comedy, write, volunteer, and of course, podcast.
Thank you for listening. Here we go.
All right everyone, so welcome back to More Than Work. And this week I'm talking to Tamara Doerksen. She's a multi-preneur, so that means she's founded quite a few businesses, but also she's a published author, yoga and meditation and mindfulness teacher, and a career transition and entrepreneur coach.
So we're gonna have a lot to dig into. Plus she has a nonprofit that she founded. So thanks for being a guest on More Than Work.
Tamara Doerksen: My pleasure. Thanks for having me, Rabiah. I'm really excited to be here.[00:01:35]
Rabiah (Host): I'm excited to have you here. So first of all, can you just tell people where I'm talking to you from?
Tamara Doerksen: Uh, I'm talking to you today from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, and it's super sunny today and unseasonably warm, which I'm really happy about.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, it's like that in London. I'm in London, England and it is warm today. I can say I did not have to put on a jacket in the middle of November. So though it's nice out, I'm kind of like, this is not, going great in a way. But yeah, it's, it's funny. It's really nice everywhere, which is good, but it's almost like spring now,
Tamara Doerksen: That's awesome. If we could skip the winter part, I'd be perfectly fine with that.
Rabiah (Host): Well, especially there. Oh my gosh. Like you definitely you guys get a lot colder there than, than we do here. So in introducing you, I mean, it's quite a list of things you do and you've done. And I think on More Than Work, I mean, one thing that's really important is just kind of talking to people about how they got to the places they did and if they're pursuing their, their passion or their values and things like that. And so when you think about just the first part, the [00:02:35] multipreneur, so can you talk a little bit about the businesses you've had and kind of your path that led you then to the other things you've been doing?
Tamara Doerksen: Sure. It's, it's a windy, windy, bendy road and I think often that's the case and I, when I think of y ou know, kids who are graduating high school, how can they possibly know what they want to do for the rest of their life? So I did, as, as many people do. I fell into a career fairly early on and I was with a global consulting company, for around 25 years.
And I thought that that was sort of gonna be where I hung my hat. A lot of people will retire from an organization like that. Around 2010, everyone in the organization needed to and had a responsibility to contribute to the community by doing some sort of volunteer work. At the same time, were some personal circumstances [00:03:35] that were going on in my life and in the life of my family. My parents, specifically. My mom's health was failing. And so, my mom and dad made a decision to move from their small community eyebrow, Saskatchewan, 120 people. I think that's a gross exaggeration to be honest. I think that includes the cattle as well. And so they needed to downsize and move into, my mom was moving into long term care in the city nearby. And my dad was gonna move into an apartment, so they were, you know, downsizing. And my dad had basement full of collectibles and it included my brother's things.
So my brother passed away after surgery to correct a congenital heart defect in 1971. And, they had kept his things. And one of those things was a tricycle. And so they decided to do an auction. The tricycle was on that auction. I went and [00:04:35] attended it and it just didn't feel right. All day it didn't feel right to see that tricycle there, and it eventually sold.
I came back to Toronto and I met with my director at that point, and we talked about the tricycle and he said, never should have let that go and it just magically wove itself into this community leader strategy. A lot of people were struggling on how they were gonna contribute to the community, and a long story, maybe even longer, is that we decided to launch a charity in my brother's memory called Lonny's Smile Foundation, and that is all to help kids with congenital heart defects just be kids by providing them the opportunity to have the same fun and sense of adventure and play that other kids have. So we send kids with congenital heart to summer camp. So that's really where my journey began and that's [00:05:35] where the first business was founded.
Up until that point, and I know Rabiah, in your introductory video, you talk about how if you have one thing that you are just focused on, that your identity can be very tied to that.
And when things don't go well, then it seems like everything's not going well. And so with Lonny's Smile, it helped me to start to realize that I could have these things outside of work that could give me fulfillment. Lonny's Smile led to a executive producer role in the movie industry because we, as part of Lonny's Smile, we had hosted these large rock concerts to raise funds and I asked a Canadian musician, Murray Foster, from the band Great Big Sea, to host one of our events. He hosted multiple of them. And after one of those events, he reached out to me and he just said, I love what I see. You can raise money. You present yourself well. You're very [00:06:35] professional.
I need that on this f ilm that I'm looking to produce. It was his first feature film. And so that started the journey of raising the funds for that film. We did that over a year. What that really taught me was you never know who's sort of watching you and, and observing what you're able to bring to the table.
So, that started my film career. That introduced me to Darren Portelli, who was also working on the film. We went into at that point after the film ended, we went into business together on Darren's film and television company, Spiral Entertainment in producing films and TV shows. And at the time, Darren was also as an innovator, he was inventing a prebiotic soda that would help with his mental health issues. And at one point he finally said, you know, Hey, I got this thing. What about doing sodas instead of movies? And that [00:07:35] launched Crazy D'S Sparkling Prebiotic Sodas. And since then, it's just been a journey from there in terms of looking to start my own businesses, pursue things on my own as well, all while doing a full.
Role. So I know that's a long answer and it's a very bendy journey, but that's what brought me to here today.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. No, it's great. And I, I, I'm similar to you where I kind of know the key points and then you can delve in at any point, you know, deeper. And so I guess one thing that I wanna chat about first is just thinking about you being at the kind of job that is very demanding when you're doing, when you're a consultant, basically.
And I think what I've noticed with friends and even with me is that you don't always realize your skills transfer. And so you'll build up this robust skill set that lets you do specific things with clients or internally or whatever. And you know, same with me, like I was a project manager most recently, and now I'm the marketing [00:08:35] manager for my company and I I would've never seen that. I could do that. But then also I'm very capable cause I've spent 20 years in IT building up these skills and so similar to you. And so I guess, were you at all surprised or did it take a moment, moment for you to say, oh, I could be a producer on a film cuz the person who Murray asked you to do it and you were able to, but what was that like for you?
Cause I think that's really interesting maybe for people to hear like, how do you believe that you can do it? Or at what point do you do that?
Tamara Doerksen: That's a great question and I was terrified. I'll be very honest and say, say that, you know, you're, you're with a, a large, you know, global consulting firm for that long and frankly, at, at some point, I, I kind of felt that you know, you kind of feel like you're part of the furniture. You've done it for so long. I had a great career. But sometimes you get to a point where you kind of don't feel that your, your [00:09:35] skill sets are fresh or, or even recognized within the organization. So, what the role in Murray's film did was it, it really made me feel appreciated all over again for the skill sets that I brought.
So when Murray first asked me to be part of the film, I just, I jumped in. He said, you know, do you wanna raise funds for the film? I had always wanted to be in the film industry, so it was easy for me just to say, There was no question in my mind. This is my way into the film industry, something that I have wanted to do for a very long time.
I went down at the, at that time to a store that's no longer in Toronto. It closed its doors, unfortunately. It's called, it was called the World's Biggest Bookstore, and I went down that afternoon and looked for, Books on raising funds for film feeling that it was totally new to me that this was a totally new thing for me and that I had to learn from scratch.
But then as I got [00:10:35] into it, that's where, to your point about transferable skills, and especially when you talk about, you know, IT and project management, which is my background too, you find out that really those skills are inherent to you. From Lonny's Smile I raised funds to send kids to camp. From that consultancy opportunity, I had a lot of business skills and leadership skills and.
You know, being able to bring those together, it actually turned out to be, and relationship building skills, the ability to build strong, trusted relationships, which was so important as part of my career and as part of Lonny Smile too, because you have to build a lot of partnerships with folks and volunteers and, and everyone else.
So for sure, those skills came into play and it, it wasn't immediately recognizable that I could bring those together. But once it started to roll, that's when I found out that, that it actually did.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. I mean, and that's, it's such a empowering thing to realize, right?
Tamara Doerksen: it is.
Rabiah (Host): just to see. Yeah, just to [00:11:35] recognize your value and then to see that you can share it elsewhere, like in many, many ways. And I can definitely appreciate that. And so, so thinking about. Like wanting to be in film. Did you envision that you would ever do something like a producer or how did you like envision you wanted to be in film versus the reality of it?
Tamara Doerksen: I don't even know that I envisioned anything specifically. I just love the film industry. You know, anytime I pass by a film set, I just, I just felt like I was drawn to it. And I remember saying to Murray that when, when I started working on the film, , it felt like it was something that I should have been doing all my life.
It just felt like it was in my bones to do that. And and another, another part about that whole journey too that I should mention is during the time that I was working on the film, I had talked to, to Murray at length a number of times about, you [00:12:35] know, looking to leave. I just sort of felt like it, it was time, it was time I had, I had you know, come up to a senior leadership position in IT and I just felt like it was time to leave.
And during the time I was working on the film, I was actually on my way to meet meet Murray and others and the production company for a meeting. And before that, my director called me into his office and said that my leadership position was being eliminated. So I thought, do I go to this meeting?
Don't I go to this meeting? And I ended up going and I met Murray on the street corner just as we were going to the restaurant. I said, I've just lost my job. And he said, I'll never forget it. He said, fantastic. He said, you've been wanting to leave. And he, he said, whether you jump or get pushed, you end up in the same place.
And that's something that'll always remember. So, yeah, I didn't, I didn't have any, any firm vision in terms of what the film [00:13:35] industry would look like. I just felt like it was where I wanted to be.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. And then you had the ability to say yes and then yeah, you kind of got kicked out anyway, but that's, it's funny that timing and also the timing of running into him and having him be the person that you shared the news with because, you know, I think it's a good example too, of like kind of a more functional empathy as far as his response, cuz you could have run into someone who'd be like, oh, they're such jerks, and like, how dare they, and, you know, trigger kind of some other path of emotion or, but he was just kind of like, yeah, well this is what you wanted. This is good. Like, what's, you know, and I, that's pretty cool. Like, that's a good person then to get perspective from at a very critical time.
And lets you just kind of move forward instead of having like some kind of resentment about something and, cause I know a lot of people will bring in to their next thing, like their resentment of the past job and like, and, and then or whatever. And then they won't be able to like do as well in their new one or even like, have gratitude for their [00:14:35] new one and, and the new pursuit because they're still dealing with all the baggage.
I mean, I went through that for sure a couple times. And once you get past that, you can do so much better. Like just moving forward.
Tamara Doerksen: That's true. I've never thought about it in that terms, Rabiah, like, yeah, I felt like it was exactly what I needed here at the time. You know, meeting him on that day, on that corner, and even as I say it now, I can still imagine that, and it was just what I needed to hear to be able to move forward.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. That's really, really cool. That's awesome. You mentioned that you do. These other pursuits, but you still have a full-time job. So what's your full-time job now?
Tamara Doerksen: So currently I'm with the Salvation Army in Canada, so the territory is Canada and Bermuda. And and it's a, it's a great place to be. So after, I, you know, did other pursuits in the private sector and then I decided that I wanted to be, I felt a draw to be closer to [00:15:35] the community.
And a lot of that is around Lonny's smile. I just felt like I needed to contribute more to to, you know, the community. And so I moved into the public sector and I went to the city of Toronto. I love the city of Toronto. Love everything about this city in terms of film industry, great film industry and, and Toronto International Film Festival and so much more I could talk about.
But I went to the city of Toronto because I knew that, you know, we were involved in shelters long-term care. You know, all of those community services that I felt very drawn to, but I was still in IT. Had a great stint at the City of Toronto. Still have many relat strong relationships there.
Loved the city of Toronto. But I didn't feel that I was, in IT, close enough to the community. There's a portion of, you know, any city organization that is devoted to social services, but it's not all of it. So I had at that point an opportunity to join the Salvation Army. [00:16:35] And that's all the Salvation Army does.
Everything is around serving the community, the frontline. So many services that I still don't even know of. The number of industries that sit under the Salvation Army is, is massive. And so it's, it's a great place to be. And the way that I compare it to kind of the private industry, the private sector, which, you know, I certainly, you know, I owe a lot of my career to the private sector. But where I came from, we were lining pockets. Where I am now, we're making sure that people have pockets. And that to me, makes all the difference. So I decided that I wanted to be much closer to the community and give back, and ultimately I would love to be able to run a homeless shelter. That would be my ultimate goal. And let's see. Let's see where the journey takes me.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. No, that's, that's great. And I, I definitely went through, it's just very much a lot of what [00:17:35] you're seeing is resonating with me. Personally, just because I went through, and people who have listened for a while got tired of hearing me talk about it, I'm sure. But like this whole crisis of consciousness where I was kind of thinking I need to leave private, go to nonprofit, but then I had to like look at the reality of, you know, being single and the age I am and trying to figure out retirement and stuff.
So now I do a lot of volunteer work. And you were very understanding about even having to delay our chat a bit because I do, I work at a charity shop in my neighborhood in Camden in London where I live, and it's for an organization called Crisis. And so they actually address the issue of homelessness. So I kind of like the synergy there of you having that as a passion because that's a, that's an issue that's, I mean, it, it bothers me a lot and I don't understand the ways to resolve it. I've never done the research to find out, but it's nice to at least work with an organization that's doing that. And so I, I really can appreciate where you're coming from on, on that and really caring about your [00:18:35] community too versus, you know, there's a lot of national charities or whatever, but it's which are good to help, and I definitely do work with different ones, but also just doing stuff locally. And I, I was talking at work the other day, give a presentation about just how you can give back. And one thing I was saying there was like, local impact is so, so important. Cause I don't think people realize that
Tamara Doerksen: That's right.
Rabiah (Host): So has, has that changed your perspective like when you even walk around Toronto or, or look around and kind of how you feel about it? I mean, you love it. Now you're sharing that but by working in it?
Tamara Doerksen: Yeah, absolutely. And, and I just wanna go back, Rabiah, to, you know, that's, that's very much what what appealed to me when I was looking at your, at your bio and hearing your intro is that you have that, that heart for the community. We do share a lot of parallels, but I'm not funny like you are, so I wish I was, but anyway.
But yeah, it, it absolutely changes your perspective when you start hearing the [00:19:35] stories of, of people who need the services of the community, wherever that is, whether you're, you know, volunteering for a local thrift shop or, or where you are, you're, you know, driving downtown and you, you're passing people who are homeless on the street.
You realize, and I've always felt that we are all one step away from the street. All it takes is just one circumstance, one family tragedy, one you know, loss of a income. Or it could be anything, but I do believe, an addiction. All it takes is one, one thing, and any of us could be on the streets. So it certainly makes you think differently about the people that you're serving in the communities you're serving and how important it is.
And I think that too, being part of any organization, whether you are working for an organization or volunteering for an organization that is helping the community, it grounds you. It grounds me. [00:20:35] Puts a lot of things in perspective and it's very humbling just to be able to to help and support and, and help in the community.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, I, I agree. So first I wanna talk about Lonny's Smile.
So was that the first time that you had been really involved in the nonprofit space at all, or did you have kind of a history in your background of, of doing that work?
Tamara Doerksen: I had some experience. I wouldn't say that I had a lot of experience. So I would say, Participated in walks or helped support different galas in the community. But I didn't have a lot of experience prior to founding Lonny's Smile.
As I'd say with, with a lot of the pursuits that I've been in, I really didn't have a lot of background. If, well, yes, transferable skills, but a lot of background in the areas that I had been in, so it was my first big foray for sure into the non-profit space.
Rabiah (Host): and I think so with looking at the organization, I mean, and doing [00:21:35] it for your brother who had passed quite a few years
Tamara Doerksen: Mm-hmm.
Rabiah (Host): before, did that change your relationship with your grief about that? And I'll, I'll say I know that there's a persistent, I felt grief with losing a sibling or a loved one. I lost my, my brother 12 years ago.
And we were older. We were Thank you. And we were a lot older than you guys cuz Lonny was a child. But there's a persistent
Tamara Doerksen: Mm-hmm.
Rabiah (Host): found that can come and go and things like that. But I know for me, like doing certain things to honor his memory whether they're volunteering or other, you know, rituals or something helps.
And did you, did Lonny smileLonny's Smile address some part of that for you if you were feeling it?
Tamara Doerksen: It, it changed everything. And I'd say in a, in a number of ways. And it's interesting because one of my friends has used the expression, you know, living in a house of grief when you lose a sibling at any time. But I think when you're, when you're, you know, very small, it, it [00:22:35] changes the household absolutely changes the household and it.
especially. It affected of course our whole family, but it especially I think, affected our dad in a big way. And for years you really couldn't even say Lonny's name because it was just so tender. And all of those years later when we launched Lonny's Smile, it really changed so many things for our family.
Sudden ly, it brought and still brings so much light in life to his, his memory. Of course, I deal with grief, you know, I'll, I'll deal with the, the grief of his loss as, as you will with your brother for the rest of our lives. But it gave his life more more purpose, I'd say, in terms of suddenly we were able to, to speak his name.
Others, so many others were saying his name and to hear that is just, just incredible. [00:23:35] And now his memory was helping other kids like him. So we've sent 129 kids with congenital heart disease to summer camp, and I've gone to that camp and just seen the profound difference that it makes in their life. So yes, it absolutely pivoted the way that loss was felt in the lives of our family and me personally as well.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Yeah. And I can definitely relate to that. And just knowing, I think when you can have some common experience around it at some point. Because yeah, you're right. Like the parents experience it in a completely different way than you as a sibling and and there's not much you can do, but then you create this common thing.
So that's amazing. I saw David, you know, David Sedaris, the writer?
Tamara Doerksen: Yes.
Rabiah (Host): So his, his sister died, and I won't get into all that, but I saw him. He, he wrote one book that focused on that, and it was really interesting I talked to him after at a book signing after, just for a moment. I mean, he was a thousand people trying to
Tamara Doerksen: Right.[00:24:35]
Rabiah (Host): see him and, and he said one thing that really resonated, but he said, you know, we always like, we can recognize each other, those of us who had lost a sibling
Tamara Doerksen: Mm-hmm.
Rabiah (Host): cuz it's just, it's a certain group.
And I thought that was really interesting. And you know, he's this famous writer and everything, but it's the same for him and he does it through writing and you're doing it through the foundation. Did you, how did you get the idea to do that, that format of sending kids to camp? And just because it really reminds me, I did a paper in college, which didn't go that great cause I was too admiring of my subject apparently.
But on Paul Newman, right? And the Hole in the Wall Gang foundation that he has and where they do that for kids with cancer, send them to camp and I think it's great because it is helping them have a normal live at least for
Tamara Doerksen: Mm-hmm.
Rabiah (Host): a little while. And so how did you come up with the partnership you have with the camp and everything for Lonny's Smile?
Tamara Doerksen: Oh, that's an interesting story. So, when we, so we decided that we were going to, to start this thing in memory of, of Lonny. And so a few of us started [00:25:35] literally Googling organizations like, because it's foundation, we raise funds and then we direct those to those funds to like minded causes. And so we started Googling organizations that help kids with congenital heart disease and I came across Camp OKI. And at that, well, it still is the first, but not the only, fortunately, camp for kids, kids with congenital heart disease in Canada. And so I reached out and heard back from from Camp OKI. Who said that one of the co-founders of Camp OKI, dr.
Joel Kirsh would like to meet with me. So I went to meet with him. It's a camp that was founded by Dr. Joel Kirsh and Dr. Elizabeth Stevenson, who were both at the time cardiologists at Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto. I went to meet with Dr. Kirsh and I took with me, a little package of [00:26:35] information to leave with him. And one was a photocopy of a letter that a nurse at Sick Kids Hospital, Anne Marie Stain, had written to my parents at the time that my brother passed away, saying how sorry they were to to lose him.
And that's really something that would never happen now, but it did at the time. And so I left the package with him. We had a great conversation. And he got in touch with me the next day and he said, I read the package and that nurse, so this is 40 years after he passed away and he said, that nurse still works at Sick Kids Hospital.
Would you like to meet her? And so, still gives me shivers thinking about it. So I met her at Sick Kids Hospital. She she remembered Lonny. Like she remembered him. She remembered his platinum blonde hair. She remembered the room that he had been in, the bed that he had been in because she said, some kids you [00:27:35] never forget, and when you lose them, they take a piece of piece of your heart.
So that to me was that. That was it. Dr. Joel Kirsh was, you know, we were meant to find each other. Camp OKI was meant to be the organization that we would support. And and there we went. Great alignment.
Rabiah (Host): Wow. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's great. I mean, that's one of those things where whether you believe in something or not, there's, there's this whole aspect of just right time
Tamara Doerksen: That's right.
Rabiah (Host): and, and things like that. Yeah, for sure. So with Lonny's Smile, what's your role now besides founder? I mean, do you actively work in it?
Tamara Doerksen: Yeah, it is, it is active. It remains a grassroots foundation. So, we have no paid employees. It is totally fueled by volunteers and I'm active as the chair on the board of directors. And then we have a you know, a great, very [00:28:35] small but mighty board of directors and volunteers, many of which have have been with us since 2010 when we founded the organization.
I'm very grateful for them, every single day.
Rabiah (Host): Hmm, well, yeah, just the people who are willing to give their time, right? And give their skill and really even their emotion and everything to it. That's, no, that's great. I did bring up the subject of grief and some people might have heard that and, and just feel like I was kind of passive about it, which is not true. It's just that, you know, this podcast isn't
Tamara Doerksen: right.
Rabiah (Host): So it's kind of, it's kind of like just one thing people might know too is, you know, you, your relationship changes with it so you can talk about it from a, a different point of view. But for me, David Sedaris, I think is someone who really showed me like a different way to address it. And is there anyone who, I don't know, just you've, you've kind of looked to or heard from that kind of resonated with you in the same way?
Tamara Doerksen: Yes. Most recently [00:29:35] it's Anderson Cooper. So I've always admired, admired Anderson for so many, so many things, and in part is it's just his his humility and authenticity and, you know, he went through the the tragic loss of his brother when he was young, when his brother took his own life.
And then most recently, well of course his, his dad before that, and then his brother, and most recently his, his mother. And so Anderson started a podcast called All There Is, and he didn't actually intend to start a podcast. He was just cleaning out his mother's apartment. In in New York and was just sort of documenting that as he was going through things and then decided, well, this may be somebody, something that other people would benefit from.
So he just finished his first season and interviewed folks like Stephen Colbert as well who has had a lot of loss in his life and
Rabiah (Host): Yeah.
Tamara Doerksen: it was incredible when I listened to the podcast for the first time [00:30:35] because suddenly, especially that Stephen Colbert episode, things became clear to me. So there's something very powerful about hearing from others who have had loss in their life and suddenly things that they say can just.
Make things click for you. So when Steven Cobert talked about the loss loss of in his life, he talked about it being like when a cable was broken. And I'd never thought of that. And I remember saying out loud in the car, cause that's where I listened to all, all podcasts is yes, that's it. Because when, you know, when I think about my brother, I have lots of memories from the time that he passed.
Interestingly enough forward in terms of that time, but not before. And it is like a cable being, being broken. So, I really admire Anderson Cooper for his, he's very emotional in that podcast. He's very honest, he's very open. And for those who have gone through grief who are looking for sort of a [00:31:35] community I think it's a terrific resource.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Yeah. No, that it does sound like that and I, to me, it's a way that he's kind of serving the memory of those other people. And you're doing it through the foundation. I do it through volunteering. And I think that one thing that just in general, is important for people to do is to find a, a way to honor that.
So you do a lot and. Stay busy it sounds like, but what do you, what kind of lets you be centered and grounded and not get overwhelmed by it? Like there has to be an emotional aspect, even though it's for your brother and it's a nice thing, Lonny's Smile also has a lot of stress around it, probably when you're doing fundraising and stuff.
And then you have work that you're doing at the Salvation Army. And so what do you do outside of work that kind of gives you space?
Tamara Doerksen: Well, I say sometimes it's not easy. I'll be honest about that. I think that that, you know, a lot of times we kind of, look at Instagram lives and think, oh my gosh, how exciting is that? And it's the reality of it is that sometimes it's not easy and it's not easy to [00:32:35] stay grounded and balanced. So, So yoga and meditation are very important to me.
But sometimes they fall off the rails when when things get really busy. And I think it's just, it's important to to be self-aware as you can be about when things are out of balance. That to me has been the most important thing is, is when things feel off the rails, so there's too much focus on my full-time role, and I'm not getting those opportunities to, to do yoga, meditation.
You know, I do meditations on Insight TImer too, and sometimes I, I, you know, I, I go for a gap without being able to do those. I have blogs on my website. I'll tell you I need to update that and, and get some more blogs done. But you know, I think it's just sometimes, one, being very gracious with yourself and realizing that you can't do it all. And sometimes you have to make some choices. I wouldn't [00:33:35] say sacrifices, but sometimes it's, you know, things are really busy at work right now and I gotta have thing, others, other things take a back seat. Or sometimes it's, I really need to take a mental break for myself and, and do yoga and meditation because I know that if I take the time for those, that it will make everything better.
Rabiah (Host): That's great. So how long have you been practicing yoga and meditation?
Tamara Doerksen: Well, this is one of those things, Rabiah, where I just sort of, you know, go straight into things. When I started taking my yoga teacher certification, I had not practiced yoga. Same with meditation. I had had very little exposure and I'm like, you know what? If I'm gonna do this, I'm just gonna get certified and, and just, you know, go full in.
So both of those happen. So the, the career transition and entrepreneur coach certification. The yoga teacher certification and the meditation mindfulness certification all took place during COVID. So once we [00:34:35] started working from home full time, I just felt like I had a little bit of space and time to be able to do those and did them all at once, and I just felt like they could, they could combine into something that I could offer to be of service.
Rabiah (Host): Huh. How has, I guess, learning that and then sharing things with others, has it changed your perspective on yourself at all? Like, and how you kind of understand your own path?
Tamara Doerksen: Interesting question.
I think that, you know, when you have a multipath career, sometimes it's just about seeing the next dot. So you don't necessarily, and you don't need to see the full puzzle as you're heading into it. You just need to be able to, to see the first pieces. So I, I use that as an example, is, you know, just you start with box of puzzle pieces and then you just, you look for the sky, and then after you look for the sky, then you look for the, [00:35:35] the green of the grass and the trees.
So, I guess what it's changed my perspective of is I just, as I've sort of followed this multipath career, it has made it easier for me to kind of see my, what's next and what, what could be, and I don't, I don't even have to, or, or, or do have it fully formed. I just see that there is something ahead of me that will transpire into my what's next.
Rabiah (Host): How are you finding coaching other people? Is it something that's easy to do. Is it something that are you, are you identifying things, other people that you saw in yourself before? How's that going?
Tamara Doerksen: So first thing, super fulfilling to be able to help in some ways for, for others to find their own path. One thing that's important, I think, to remember about coaching is that it's not about providing the answers. [00:36:35] It's, it's built on the basis that we all have, we all have everything inside of us that we need to be able to move forward.
Sometimes it just takes asking the right questions to be able to bring it out. And I think that's the most exciting part for me, Rabiah, is just being able to, to ask questions and for for the, the individuals that I'm coaching, to be able to find their own answers in those questions and their own path forward.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, that's great. And I don't know, I like that you kind of, because I mean, even at work you have mentors and stuff, but it's nice to be able to seek them outside of work sometimes, especially when you might be needing mentorship about leaving work.
Tamara Doerksen: Yeah, that's right. And I think I've always felt that, you know, mentors and coaches have been extremely important in my life and still are because just having that other individual or individuals who are able to, you know, see things in you that that [00:37:35] you may not see in yourself. So my mentor is Susan Doniz.
She's, she's a, a very. Very successful senior leader globally and also an extremely humble and authentic individual. And having those people in your life and seeking those out, those relationships out, I think, are so critical to success. We, none of us do anything on our own ultimately. We get, we get help from others in a community around us.
Rabiah (Host): Definitely. Yeah. And it's sometimes hard. I know for me it's been hard to accept help or that I need help, but once I've done that, I've had really rewarding relationships with people and also I've been able to give more to others because I'm able to accept it and almost kind of, I don't know, is it makes it more equal somehow in the universe maybe or
Tamara Doerksen: that's a very good point.
Rabiah (Host): So one thing I'd like to ask every guest who's on More Than Work is just, and you've kind of covered it with some [00:38:35] advice already, but like, is there any advice or mantra that you like to, would just like to share with listeners?
Tamara Doerksen: From an advice standpoint, I'd say if you're, if you're looking to pursue something outside of work, the first and most important thing is to understand why. Why and why now are you looking to, to do something else whatever that path might be? Recognizing that you don't need to have it all figured out.
So just start with one thing. Let's say you're looking to, to have a multipath career. You don't need to know what all those paths are. Just sort of start with one and work on that. And look to take, and I know this is a phrase that's used by a lot of people, but look to take massive imperfect action every day.
So even if you have five minutes, just make progress towards it. You don't need huge chunks of time. You don't need to be, you know, a week off work to be able to, to make progress. Just take the time that you need. Find a community of people who [00:39:35] can surround you, make you accountable, provide you with support, and above all, really be gracious with yourself.
So sometimes it'll be tough. Your, your full-time job may take everything that you have to give and you may not have a lot to give outside of that other than to yourself. But make sure that you do that. And just, you know, go for it. I have this football statue, which I know you won't see through audio.
But I'll show it to you, Rabiah. And my dear friend Robin gave this to me many years ago, and it says, I'm a huge football fan. "If you don't pick up the ball and run with it, somebody else will." And so it's really important just to, to, you know, move forward. And I think about, you know, what I would've missed out on. If I hadn't done that I wouldn't have been able to honor the memory of my brother through Lonny's Smile. I wouldn't have been able to meet his nurse Anne Marie [00:40:35] Stain. We wouldn't have been able to send 129 kids with congenital heart disease to summer camp, which literally changes their lives. I wouldn't have been able to attend an international film festival and see my name on the screen and the credits as an executive producer. To launch and grow a first to market prebiotic soda company and so much more.
So just, just start. Just make the first step. If that's volunteering in a in a thrift store or another community organization, if it's, you know, starting to write, if you wanna be a writer, but whatever, whatever that is for you, just take that first step.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, that's that's great. I appreciate you just sharing all that and walking through all that cause I think there's a lot there that, especially just on the getting started, so I really appreciate you sharing that.
Rabiah (Host): So the last set of questions I have then where we're [00:41:35] near the end is the fun five. So these are just questions that I think are fun and I wanna know what your answers are.
So we'll start with the first one. What is the oldest T-shirt you have in still wear?
Tamara Doerksen: Well, I don't know that for sure, but I will say it has to be a Rolling Stones t-shirt. It has to be because I have many Rolling Stones t-shirts. They are just my favorite. I once met Keith Richards, which I will never forget in all of my life. And I just will not give away any Rolling Stones t-shirts, so it has to be the Rolling Stones.
Rabiah (Host): Great. Yeah. I actually went and saw them at the Rose Bowl in Hollywood or in Los Angeles. Took my mom and it was really cool just to, just to do that and for her to see them. But the, yeah, they're great. And I always thought she was only a Beatles person. Like I just had this idea and then she's like, no, I used to listen to the Stones and you know, how dare I
Tamara Doerksen: That's great. They're amazing. The lot, the longevity is incredible, so, so sad to lose Charlie Watts, but my [00:42:35] gosh. They are just, if, if yeah, if I can be moving anywhere like Mick Jagger at his age, then that, that'll be a good day.
Rabiah (Host): Oh yeah, yeah, exactly. All right. And speaking of, of music, really, so if every day was really Groundhog's Day, like it seemed back in, back in the pandemic when I wrote this question well, not that we're not out of the pandemic yet, but during the part where we're all locked down, just different part what song would you have your alarm clock set to play every
Tamara Doerksen: morning?
Oh, that is so easy. Billy Joel, New York State of Mind because I literally play it every single morning. I love Billy Joel, and next month I am having the very privilege of going to see him at Madison Square Garden, and that has been on my bucket list forever, so
Rabiah (Host): Great.
Tamara Doerksen: listen to that every day.
Rabiah (Host): Oh, that'll be a fun show. MSGs. Pretty cool. Pretty
Tamara Doerksen: never never been there, but I love New York City. My daughter is in in theater [00:43:35] production and so I think we're going to see Billy Joel and four musicals on Broadway. So
it's gonna be fun.
Rabiah (Host): amazing. Good for you. Okay, cool. And coffee or tea or neither?
Tamara Doerksen: Coffee, definitely coffee, and it would be a chai latte with lots of cinnamon on top. And just like my dad, I can drink a coffee right before bed and I can sleep like a baby.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. And with the chai, do you ever do like a dirty chai so you get the shot of espresso in it?
Tamara Doerksen: I have absolutely done that. I think I did that about a week ago.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, it's, it's makes it a little more spicy and, and amps it up a little bit. So. Cool. Nice. Can you think of a time that you laughed already cried or just something that just cracks you up when you think of it, that you can share on a podcast?
Tamara Doerksen: It's a . Very good, good question. It, it's always gonna be something that the kids say. So I've got a 20 year old daughter and a 23 year old son, and they both have, especially my daughter, has a very dry sense of humor. [00:44:35] But yesterday I actually laughed so hard. So my son, who is in college for video game art design, he was having a really tough time within an assignment.
He had been working on it all day, all night. It was now noon. It was like 24 hours later. And he came in and I was working and he, and I said, how's it going? And this is his exact quote, "either my teacher is a stone cold liar, or I misunderstood him and either is possible." And I cracked up at that.
Rabiah (Host): I like how he's at least willing to accept accountability, but also willing to not if he doesn't need to.
So that's great. Yeah. And both can be true
Tamara Doerksen: That's right.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. That's cool. That's funny. So the last one who inspires you right now?
Tamara Doerksen: Mm. First has to be my friend, Reg. I've known him since I almost, since I've known anyone, and I'm actually going to visit him along with some other high school buddies in [00:45:35] Vancouver next week. And Reg is battling leukemia. And when I think about Reg, I think about hope, positivity, re. Courage and he inspires me absolutely every day.
The other person who inspires me is President Linsky from the Ukraine. And he to me is a case study, an expert role model on inspired leadership. He is authentic, he's courageous, he is self-aware. He is compelling. And he is direct. So he I think he's an amazing leader and one who didn't have a lot of leadership experience prior to leading something so, so in incredibly difficult.
Rabiah (Host): Mm-hmm. . Yeah, he's really, he is really amazing. Just, yeah, everything, cuz I, that's another one too, where it's almost like it's been going on for so long that it's not [00:46:35] center of attention anymore, but for. The people in Ukraine, they're constantly there
Tamara Doerksen: Yeah. Wishing them well.
Rabiah (Host): So if people wanna find you, where should they go? How do you want them to look for you?
Tamara Doerksen: thanks. So, yeah, you can find me at tamara doerksen dot com (tamaracoerksen.com). So that's T A M A R A D O E R K S E N dot com. And you can actually go onto the website and download my free workbook on four key questions to start down your next path. I'd also love if you checked out Lonnys Smile dot org (lonnyssmile.org). That's L O N N Y S S M I L E dot org.
And also you can find my meditations on the free Insight Timer app.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. And Tamara, that app is awesome, by the way. I love it cuz it tracks the days in a row. You do things.
So Yeah. it's really cool.
Tamara Doerksen: it's free.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Yeah, it is. It is. It's great. Well, thanks so much for being on More Than Work. I really appreciate it and enjoyed our chat.
Tamara Doerksen: Thank you so much, Rabiah. I have [00:47:35] really enjoyed speaking with you and thank you for all that you do and for providing this forum for people to share and hopefully you know, gain more of a community and be able to pursue things outside of work. So I really appreciate you taking the time to speak with me.
Rabiah (Host): Thanks for listening. You can learn more about the guest and what was talked about in the show notes. Joe Maffia created the music you're listening to. You can find him on Spotify at Joe M A F F I A. Rob Metke does all the design for which I am so grateful. You can find him online by searching Rob M E T K E.
Please leave a review if you like to show and get in touch via feedback or guest ideas. The pod is on all the social channels at at More Than Work Pod (@morethanworkpod) or at Rabiah Comedy (@rabiahcomedy) on TikTok. And the website is more than work pod dot com (morethanworkpod.com). While being kind to others, don't forget to be kind to yourself.
