S5E12 - Corey Spiegel
This week’s guest is Corey Spiegel, founder and CEO of Light House. Light House is a diverse community of smart women who support one another through various groups and classes.
Light House was born out of Corey reaching a crossroads in her own career and really wanting a “board of directors” for her life when she was making a major decision. After considering close friends and family to advise, she realized that there was value in getting advice. Light House began as a place for women only but has recently expanded to include topics that are designed for men.
We talk about:
Corey leaving her 25 year career as an entertainment and digital marketing executive to start her own company
The importance of conversation in current times and the need to take responsibility for our words and actions with grace and patience to understand others
Setting boundaries
Transitioning her business from in-person only to online during COVID.
And more!
Note from Rabiah (Host):
Corey touched on something very important in this episode which was connection and sharing of our stories. Both resonated with me A LOT. She has created a space for both that is really unique. We have a lot in common when it comes to that and it has manifested itself in different ways for us. I’m become more and more careful about who I personally hold space with and for and think we all deserve to be discerning about that. I hope you enjoy this episode!
Rabiah (in London) catching a lot of wisdom from Corey (in Los Angeles) and the view of the sun through the blinds.
More About Corey
Official Bio:
Corey Spiegel is the Founder of Light House, a diverse community of women who are having personal conversations that are transparent, refreshing, and real. Our curated classes help you navigate the life stage you're in and connect you with women who simply get it. At Light House, you'll find a crew of specialized experts and unbiased women on everything from finding an intern to finding your center. Perpsectives are shared. Loads are lightened. Friendships are forged. Corey spent 25 years working as a senior executive in the entertainment space - Playboy, Warner Bros., Extra, Ellen and TMZ to name a few, overseeing digital sales, product integrations and brand partnerships. Spiegel learned a ton at these companies but after so many years in the trenches, it was time to start her own business. Despite having a tight circle of friends, Corey realized it's simply not the same dynamic when you ask your BFF to problem-solve. It's too biased, too loving, too one-sided. Often and objective audience works better than a dearest confidant. So she created Light House - a place where women find clarity, space and perspective. Today, we're a large community of bold women seeking to live purposeful lives. We're having real conversations on real topics with real people about real life. You're not meant to do life alone.
Instagram (for women 15-21 years old)
Transcript
[00:04:13]
Rabiah (Host): This is More Than Work, the podcast reminding you that your self worth is made up of more than your job title. Each week, I'll talk to a guest about how they discovered that for themselves. You'll hear about what they did, what they're doing and who they are. I'm your host, Rabiah. I work in IT, perform standup comedy, write, volunteer and of course podcast. Thank you for listening.
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to More Than Work this week. I really have a lot to say about the Oscars and about the Will Smith, Chris Rock feud and everything, but I'm just, I'm not going to say it on this podcast right now because it'll take away from the message of the podcast. And I think that one thing, one lesson I learned from watching what happened is that doing certain things or saying certain things will take away from [00:05:13] your message.
And so this is More Than Work. It's about that. It's about the guest who's on. And so if you want to know my opinion, reach out. But I'm going to really leave it out of here because I realized sometimes on the front of the podcast, I might rant and it's really it's taken away from the podcast. So instead, I'll talk about the guest.
Actually I met a few of my recent guests on pod match dot com. I think it was, and they featured more than work. And then people will probably apply to be on the show. And I had like 200 applications to go through. And I looked at people who really resonated with me in the mission of the show and the vision of the show because not every guest and not every person who applied did that.
To me, it's important that my time is used valuably. And I don't know if people really know, and I think I've said it before, but you know, the podcast takes a while. I mean, there's like six to eight hours involved in each episode. It's not just the conversations, editing, and promotion and stuff like that.
So that's my time. And then there's the time of you? The listener you're taking the time to listen to this. [00:06:13] And I really appreciate everybody. Who's given me their 30 minutes to an hour. I know I try not to go over an hour, but it happens sometimes. And I, I really value that because I know that you could be listening to other things.
I know you could be doing other things, but you're, you're here with me. So thank you. But also just know that when I choose guests for the show, I'm really trying to get guests that I think are sharing a message that will resonate with someone. And I don't know who it's going to resonate with. It always resonates with me in some way, and I really enjoy these conversations.
And so the person I am talking to, she. As someone that came to me through that channel. And I just thought she was really cool what she was doing. And it was really cool to get to talk to her about her organization Light House. I'm not going to say her name because I noticed I always intro the person here and then I intro them in a minute when you're listening to the podcast so I'm trying to fix a few things on this episode, but, um, we talked a lot about connection with other [00:07:13] people and connection during the pandemic. And the value of having people around you that you can talk to and get valuable opinions from. And I just, I won't say much more than that, but I just thought it was a really cool episode.
Really cool to hear about another person who had a job that they were working in, but decided to do their own thing. I don't see myself ever doing that to be quite honest with you. I don't see myself as someone who founds my own business, although I will say like having the podcast on my own and having the control over that is pretty cool and, uh, and a close place to be, but it takes a lot of work. And I know this guest works really hard and she even said, she's working harder now than she probably, you know, or as hard anyway, but harder than she was when she had a corporate job.
So I'll leave you with this when you're angry and upset, be better.
Think about trying [00:08:13] to focus on the message and focus on the issue and not focus on your ego. That's something I struggle with. I have a lot of empathy for both sides of what happened at the Oscars. I said, I'm not going to talk about it. I'm not going to get too far into it, but I'm just going to say for me, I will lose my temper sometimes.
And I've had to find ways to say, oh, I can feel that happening to me I could either say something really awful to someone, or I could take a break and express that, "Hey, I need a break from this." And that's what I do. And I just want people to think. In the frustrating situations they're in, how can you get out of that without hurting yourself?
Because the ultimate thing is a lot of times when we try to hurt someone else, we hurt ourselves. That's what I'll leave you with today. Um, I think this episode goes really well with that message. And you'll see why in a moment, but thanks for being here, um, like subscribe, share anything, uh, follow on socials, trying to put some good content out there.
And I really want some, some engagement with people, but thanks for listening to more than [00:09:13] work, have a good day or night, whatever it is.
Rabiah (Host): My guest today is Corey Spiegel. She's founder and CEO of Light House. So thanks for being on Corey.
Corey Spiegel: Thank you for having me.
Rabiah (Host): It's really nice to, nice to see you and to have you here. So, first of all, where am I talking to you from?
Corey Spiegel: I am in today, sunny Los Angeles.
Rabiah (Host): Great. So first of all, I just want to ask you excited to introduced you as founder and CEO of Light House. Can you just tell people what that is? And then I'd probably go back a little bit after we establish that.
Corey Spiegel: Yeah.
Light House is a diverse community of really smart, like whip smart women who are going through life, various life stages. And they're all just trying to find their way. And it really just kind of took me back to a time where. I felt a little lost. That's really why I founded this company.
I was working in entertainment. [00:10:13] I really wanted to leave. I've been under contract after contract, after contract, and I really wanted to talk to some other smart women that were in a similar boat that I was in. I had kids- still have kids, but at the time, you know, they were a little bit younger. I was being paid very, very handsomely. I really enjoyed what I was doing, but I really was mentally ready to leave. And I really wanted to sort of seek counsel.
I reported into a board of directors professionally, so I kind of started thinking, well, why can't I have a board of directors for my personal life? You know, women, that have been in the same situation that we're thinking about leaving that had solid positions.
And the truth of the matter is I really couldn't find that and I really searched and searched and yes, I could have gone to my closest girlfriend circles, or my mom who I'm incredibly close to. But the reality is, everyone's got their own stuff going [00:11:13] on and we're all at different stages. And I really didn't want to burden them.
And also, I think when you start talking to people that really really know you, the opinions become biased. Sometimes they're too Sometimes they're too one-sided because their intention is to always have, you know, be the best and be very supportive for you. And I really was looking for the good, the bad, the ugly. I was looking for somebody to talk to me that did not have skin in the game, that did not know how I was predisposed to responding or answering or having any way knowledge about me in general but could say, you know what, I was in the same boat as you were and actually I wish I would stayed or I wish I left sooner or why don't you, you know, maybe consider riding it out and for these reasons, and I could take all those sorts of amazing bite sized nuggets of information, and then at least be able to make an educated decision based on knowledge and information. So when I realized it didn't exist, [00:12:13] that was my answer.
That was my aha moment. And I created Light House. So, that's really why, why we're here.
Rabiah (Host): It's interesting you say you could talk to your friends and certainly I have friends that I talk to about different things, but then when certain things happen, it does become very isolating because either like for me recently I'll just say something has gone on health-wise and I actually did isolate myself because I didn't want everyone to just say it's going to be okay, because first of all, no one knew that.
But second of all, that's not what I needed to hear at that point, but it's hard to tell people like, no, I need to actually hear that the sucks and.
Corey Spiegel: Absolutely. Absolutely. The same thing happened to my mom. My, my family is all back east and my 76 year old. She's not gonna be happy. I said her age, but going on 55 mother fell and broke her wrist and her hip right smack in the middle of the pandemic. I'm in Los Angeles. She's in New Jersey. You know, she's my lifeline like, so that therein lied another opportunity for me to do a class, "Caring for Your [00:13:13] Aging Parents During a Pandemic". It was for her life-changing. For me panic and just sheer panic about how do I, how do I show love, support? How can I be there when I can't be there? I can't get into a hospital. I can't get into a rehab facility. I can't be by her side to help her through this. And that was so ridiculously hard for me and so depressing. And so, gut wrenching. I wanted to talk to other people and the response we got from that, which was so wonderful and so powerful. Even the Wall Street Journal contacted me and asked if they could feature, you know, my story and interview my mom because it was happening to so many people, but where do you go?
Like nobody's talking about it. It's certainly not something that you're going to freely post on Facebook and say, Hey, guess what? My mom fell. You know, everyone's got their own stuff, but you, you mentioned the word isolating and [00:14:13] it really, it feels that way when you're going through something very heavy and powerful and all you want is not necessarily a friend to listen, but others that understand and just simply get it.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Yeah. Like, Hey, I've been through that too. And that sucks. And that's it.
Corey Spiegel: And here's, here's what I did. Come out on the other end or look, you know, we're total strangers, but we're now going to be connected because we identify with the similar, you know, stage that we're in so we're going to get each other through it.
I no longer view community as an indulgence.
It's it's a straight up necessity at this point. You've got, gotta have people that you can lean on.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Yeah. And speaking of community, I mean, I, so one thing I've noticed and I'll just tell you about community for me, what it's meant, because I've, I've learned a lot about it just been doing the podcast for one thing, but also just inexperienced and different things. And I [00:15:13] used to be one of those people who in work would always almost withhold information and I'll say, it's not a good quality I've had but I think you may or may not understand that, but you know, I'm a woman in IT and you, you're a woman in digital marketing and executive positions, but there's that idea that if I hold information, I'll be most valuable at some point, you know? And also do I trust other people? And I found now changing that at work has made work better, but also outside of work, like with chronic illness management, with comedy, I do stand up comedy, in podcasting and all these places. Community has been super important because it's people, again, like you said, understand who can commiserate with you, who can give advice, whatever.
And I think, I think there's been this idea that a lot of people think, well, I have to solve my own problems, but I think that, that the reason we have community is to help with that kind of stuff, but not be alone in this, that kind of things you've found?
Corey Spiegel: Yeah, a hundred percent. I mean, and I too probably was one of those people. Like, you know, I had friends that would always [00:16:13] comment that you know, I, to them looked like that swan that was floating on a pond, just effortlessly, seamlessly, just gliding. And I kept thinking to myself, man, but they're not looking at is underneath that little surface, are oars and paddles and engines and batteries and everything you could possibly imagine just to appear floating. And I realized everyone's going through that. So there's no shame in that game. The community part and bringing it to the surface and actually talking about it. Number one, I wholeheartedly believe that you're not meant to do life alone. Number two, I genuinely also believe that there's power in knowing what you don't know and to have other people to be able to provide not just the perspective, but the wisdom, the compassion. They're not there to solve your problems. This is not okay let me [00:17:13] tell you what you should do. You need to call this person because life doesn't work that way. It's not a, "you should". In fact, I feel very, very strongly about women in general should stop "shoulding" all over themselves.
There is no what you should do until you're in someone's shoes. And until you have all of the pieces to the story which can always influence the outcome. You can't really comment, but what you can do is listen. And what you can do is say I've been in. And that's truly why I offer classes, events, and series.
I don't want people to come in and sign up as members. I want them to come in to sign up for classes, series or events that resonate with them personally so they're invested in the conversation, not because, okay, well, there's a membership fee, but you know, seven out of 10 things I'm not really interested in. But you, you want people in the same room with you that have a vested interest in, in getting through this problem, [00:18:13] this life stage together.
Rabiah (Host): Well and also it sounds like almost a collaborative process in a way. Are people expected to interact and share? Cause I, I know a couple of friends. I'll ask and they might even hear this and whatever, you know, people will hear it, but I'll say, how are you? And then the last answer with how are you and I'll answer them and then they'll investigate more with me, but they will never answer my question of how are you?
And it's like, well, you're not participating in this conversation. You're just making me do the work of me sharing and me being vulnerable and now you're not doing that. And so do you, do you kind of see that kind of thing too is helpful to have?
Corey Spiegel: Yeah, and in fact, you know, I personally every person or guest expert that comes in and I will always ask these people prior, you know, why, why do you want to sign up for this class? You know, what's going on? And I have had a few individuals over the last, three and a half years say, you know what, I just want to listen. I just [00:19:13] want to hear. I'm not ready to speak. And, and I have declined having them join because there's judgment in that. You might not come across as being a judgmental person, but if somebody is being really raw and authentic and sharing, and like you said, being really vulnerable and open to sit there and listen to, even though you're like, I'm just soaking this in, I'm just processing and digesting for my own benefit. That to the group, it might feel judging, you know, judgemental. It might feel like, oh, wow, you're THAT person. And that's not fair. That the whole part of this is you're only going to get out of it, what you put into it. So if you share your stories, I don't call them problems, I call them stories. I don't call it mental health. I call it human health.
Like this is what we're dealing with. Then really, why are you here? You know, it requires you to do the work and doing the work is telling your story. Story is your story [00:20:13] and it's unique and it's profound and it's real. And the group is all going through something similar so your end of it, your participation is all about you know, contributing to the group at large.
Rabiah (Host): I agree. And it's like, there's a difference between holding space for someone because they need to talk and you're listening versus like being in a space and not participating.
Corey Spiegel: Correct. Yeah. And I think it sends a message to other people like is she looking at me? What is she thinking? And then it kind of derails the whole sort of conversation because you're so concerned about why is she staring at me? And meanwhile, that woman very well innocently just be like, wow, okay, there are others out there.
Like she might just be hearing it in a different way, but it's, it's, you know, visually, it doesn't resonate with the group and it's an unfair position to allow others to, you know, open them up, crack their chest so to speak, and [00:21:13] have somebody sitting there observing.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, yeah. And one reason I do this podcast is to help other people share their stories, because I think there's such power in that and people hearing them. I have found in different ways that I've shared my story either as an advocate or ambassador type of thing in different for different non-profits where I've shared my experience to help fundraise and stuff like that.
But also with coworkers or with people maybe I mentor because I just feel like it is important. And it, and also every time I tell my story, I almost learned something new about it because I'm putting words to what happened and, and words to feelings and everything. And do you remember the catalyst for you where you're like, I need to share this part of my story
and, and when you made Light House in like what, you don't have to say exactly what that story was, I guess, but just kind of, how did it feel to do that when you first did it?
Corey Spiegel: Well, yes. I mean, I remember looking for my tribe of [00:22:13] C-suite, you know, executive women that I could talk to and not finding that But, once I made the decision to, to bank on myself and actually leave my corporate job. And, and by that, I mean, my corporate career of 25 years. And do a complete total departure and, and jump into something completely different.
Yeah. I feel like there are a lot of eyes on me. I feel exposed. I feel like I'm really putting myself out there. And that's uncomfortable, you know, I'm not one to go figure. I don't like being in front of a camera. I don't like when that little red light is on. But I could public speak in front of 5,000, 10,000 people and not even think twice about it. It's just when it live.
And I know that it's being recorded. Yeah, I mean, there's certain things that are just really intimidating and it's so beyond your comfort zone, but I'm learning and have learned to get [00:23:13] really comfortable in the uncomfortable. And you know, I think everything I do scares me a little bit, but you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take.
And that's really how I look at it.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, absolutely. So just thinking back on your career as a entertainment executive and doing digital marketing and, you know, you, you worked hard to get where you did. I mean, to become executive level, what was it in that work that maybe stopped being fulfilling? Cause you said you even liked your job.
And then how has your day to day different now that you're doing work probably working just as hard, if not harder, running your own company but just doing different work. How's that different?
Corey Spiegel: I didn't not like my job. I just, it wasn't feeding me. I wasn't filled by it. It was a lot of, you know, entertainment-specific celebrity driven stories. And I signed up for that and I love that world. And to this day I still do. [00:24:13] And you know, I have a lot of respect for the people that are still there and still grinding it out every day. So it wasn't so much that I, I just didn't like it. I just felt like, you know what, it's time for me to consider doing something else. And I think also because, you know, when you live in Los Angeles and you work in entertainment, contracts are a real thing.
And out here, they're pretty long. And obviously as anyone knows the contracts are always, you know, to the benefit of the employer, not the employee and they're substantial. And before I was willing to sort of, hunker down and lock back down into that opportunity, I really wanted to see what else was out there.
To your point. I mean, I work harder and longer hours than I've ever done in my life. But I really, I'm a people person and I love meeting different people. And I love hearing about their stories and I love knowing that there really isn't a straight path [00:25:13] to get from a to Z. And there are so many people that get from here to here, but the ways in which they get there are so unique and so different and so interesting that I just, I'm honored to be able to listen to them and hear them. And the topics that I choose are really based on my own life. I mean, there are things that are either happening to me have happened. I'm anticipating on happening. And you know, those are the things where I always feel that somewhere somehow some way some woman has already experienced or been through it. And it's Okay.
Send back the wisdom, send back the teachings and the learnings so all of us coming through, you know, paved the way and, and share what you know,
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Yeah.
Corey Spiegel: pass it down.
Rabiah (Host): And as far as just it being all women, I mean, I, I understand the importance of [00:26:13] having other women to talk to about certain things versus men and women or something, but how did you make that decision that this should be exclusively for women and inclusive of, of women?
Corey Spiegel: Yeah, it was, it was actually pretty interesting because the decision to make it really you know, dedicated for women. Women talk a lot, you know? We, we are, we're, we're sharers. We, we want to talk, we're willing to sit down and have those conversations and we're willing to open up. And I have a ton of guy friends you know, and I just don't think that they're susceptible or, or really open to sharing their feelings. Which, you know, I'm sure every guy right now is probably cringing. But we're not, we don't not allow men. In fact, we are right smack in the middle of our first series that's for men only.
Rabiah (Host): Great.
Corey Spiegel: with a, you know, a male expert that's moderating the class. You know, [00:27:13] so we, we are trying.
I don't pretend to understand a different gender and how their brain works. But the reality just was, you know, a lot of women wanting to talk and they are far more conversational, I guess that's the better way. Like they just, the they're the ones that are asking the questions. They're the ones that I've had the conversations with.
So it just seemed like a natural fit to target the business specifically geared towards them..
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, well, and certain subjects I think are less comfortable or don't feel as safe with, depending on who's in the room, right? And even for men, I mean, I w I would say. You know, having some empathy for people who have faced certain things now, like if you look at metoo, and there are a lot of men who are being looked at in a certain way that maybe it's not really them.
And so, but they're also trying to be supportive and allies, and that's probably really hard, but I would, I don't think [00:28:13] that they should come to women and complain about it, you know?
Corey Spiegel: Yeah.
Yeah.
exactly. And also, you know, there's, there's you know, because of all that stuff, there's so much fear, you know, and there's so much confusion as to what you can say, what you can't say. What's politically correct. There's so many guard rails and like cancel culture. Like I think there's, there's a lot. Yeah. fear, you know, just about what you can and cannot say. Does that make you culpable in some way? Does that make you well, you acknowledging you didn't say anything? Like I think things can be interpreted in so many different ways that it, you know, I think a lot of people these days are like, you know what, I'm just going to not say anything because it'll be, you know, it's easier to stay quiet than to come forward and say something.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. And I'm one of those people who will say something and who will risk it and then, but then who also be like, oh yeah, that was a mistake, you know? like, I. Yeah. Yeah. And I think we all need to be gracious [00:29:13] about mistakes. I think there's a difference between intentionally hurting people and saying things that are intentionally hurtful or, you know, I mean, if I'm saying something racist right now, obviously I know what I'm doing, but there's also just ways of navigating new language and stuff.
And so I think it's important to have people you trust and you mentioned even confidentiality earlier and just like, but yeah, having people you trust to do those things.
Corey Spiegel: I think what's also really important is the tone in which the statement is delivered, the delivery itself. And, you know, overall, what, what I've I have learned certainly through my career and now doing this is that there really are various perspectives to every story.
And just because you see something the way you see, you have to allow for the fact that somebody else is going to have a completely different perspective about the same exact reality and the same story, but that doesn't make their perspective wrong, or right. It's just listening and [00:30:13] being able to say, okay, you know what, I don't think I agree with that, but I understand how one would think that way. And it takes everybody. It's not just like it diffuses everything a little bit. It kind of just, it demands a moment of pause and okay, wait, did I contribute to this in any way? Could I personally have handled this in a different way?
It's a little bit about, self-growth and taking that beat to realize how your words and or actions may have contributed or inflamed a situation, or maybe you didn't. But just to kind of rewind and listen and hear how somebody else may have positioned that. I find it fascinating.
I've always said that the person that learns the most and benefits the most out of my classes is me. And I stand by that because there are so many times where it's my job to come up with these, the content [00:31:13] and to be the moderator and to vet the people and vet the experts that there've been countless times where I will be on a call or will be in person and someone will say something and I'm like, huh,
Rabiah (Host): Yeah.
Corey Spiegel: Wait a minute. Before I like do my job, I need to hear that again. That's really powerful. That's really interesting. And you know, you bring up a really good point. You gotta be open that way.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Oh, for sure. And open to being wrong. I mean, that's a big thing. I I'll often for me, like I will feel myself physically reacting to something and I'll actually think I sounded worse or said something worse than I said. And I've had it happen before where I apologize and the person is like, I didn't even know you were mad.
So I'm like, oh really? Cause like inside I was. And so it's interesting to like even the perspective. Of putting me in a really bad light was different than someone else's perspective of me, not that negative. And that's a beneficial position to be in. It's better than to be hyper self aware in that way, I think, than the other way.
But still,
Corey Spiegel: yeah.
but it is, [00:32:13] it all does, lean back to self-awareness and self-discovery and also just helping others. Offering hey, you know what? I was in a similar situation and I had made some bad decisions and I wish I could go back and course correct, but I can't.
So let me share with you where I personally think I went wrong so that if it helps you moving forward, you at least have, the information and the knowledge at hand.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, that's great. And that's like a brave space to be in. So has changing to your own company, has it affected your personal life as far as being a parent or I don't know if you have a partner, but anything like that has that, have you found that it changed that to dynamic in your life?
Corey Spiegel: Yeah. I have two kids and I am married. I married my high school sweetheart, who also happens to be still in the entertainment space. The biggest thing that I would say that I'm learning and I, I, I definitely pride myself on the fact that I've gotten [00:33:13] better, but I have a lot more work to do is setting boundaries.
You know, I, when it was different, when I had an office to go to now, my office is at home, which again is a blessing and a curse at the same time. But it's, when you are a solo, a solopreneur, you're doing everything at all hours of the day. So I make a very serious effort to.
Close the door, lock the door, keep my computer in the office, like turn it off. And sometimes I'm not so good at that. And it's very difficult because you want to be present. You want to be there. For the ma you know, the mom, EV all, all the parts of the mom or being a mom and being a wife and I'm improving.
Let's just say we're making tremendous strides, but yet definitely can be very, very taxing because, you know, there's, there's always something that needs to be done. And there's always something that needs to be done with the family. It's just, you know, I it's like, I need to make a [00:34:13] deposit in my business today.
I need to make a deposit as a mother today. I need to make a deposit as a friend, as a wife, as a daughter. And sometimes those You know, not every bucket gets full every single time. So it's, it's just bandwidth and, and you do what you can do one day at a time.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Yeah. I mean that, and that is tricky and I think you're right. Just the physical boundaries, but also the time boundaries and then emotional boundaries, everything.
Corey Spiegel: I mean, it's like, you can't be in the middle of putting a contract together and then just all of a sudden, oh, okay. It's time to switch that off. And it's time to jump into dinner time. I mean, you know, I'd like to say, oh Yeah, no problem. Just, you know, cut that fuse that you know, for now. But you ruminate and you're like, aha, aha.
But meanwhile, you just want to go back and finish it. It is definitely a tough thing to do.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, we call that context switching and software develop especially for developers. Like if they [00:35:13] have to be in meetings and you're, you lose so much productivity time by switching back and forth and even that whole idea of multitasking is really a fallacy because I, if I was multitasking right now, like I'm trying to do like three things while I'm talking to you, it wouldn't work, you know?
Corey Spiegel: Oh, I know?
but yet, but yet we do do it, which is probably also why I go to bed at like 7:30 at night, because the only way to, to not do anything is to close the eyes and make it dark. And that way physically, you can't do anything. It's like you can't. So, but Yeah.
it's, I'm a work in progress. So
Rabiah (Host): So kind of along these lines, but one thing I, I like to ask people, because I think it's clear to me, you know, that this work is more meaningful to you personally than your other work, even though you liked your job. Like, there's no doubt about that, but it's, it's different. And, but what are you doing now, and we talked a little bit about boundaries, to make sure that you're not defined just by this too, because you could have a rough class or rough [00:36:13] conversations. Impact you just like bad work meetings and stuff did. So do you have any strategies that you're using now?
Corey Spiegel: I'm far more aware of it this go around. I think it means more because you know, I, I always remember my dad used to say to me, you know, early on in my career where I would be super stressed about something and he would always say, "your name's not on the door." So, you know, like, you know, remember that, well, now?
my name is on the door, but I think with, with that said, there is a responsibility that if I'm going to run a business and I'm going to employ people and I'm going to do the job to the absolute best of my ability, then that also requires me to give a hundred percent. And the only way I can give a hundred percent is if I take care of myself. So I'm more conscious to making sure I go out and get a walk or get some exercise, or, you know, I engage with my friends. I, you [00:37:13] know, talk to my parents a thousand times a day I'm with my kids as much as I possibly can. I'm with my husband, as much as, you know, w we maximize, we, you know, work hard, play hard. But mentally, I've tried to free up space to allow for that because by taking that kind of space and that distance away from the business, it brings me back with fresh eyes in the ears so that I can like go back and give it a hundred percent.
it's all it's all a balance. It's all, it's all a juggling act.
And, you're taking from one to give to another and I think as long as you have self-awareness to recognize what your needs are every day and actually execute upon that. It, for me, it's working.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah,
Corey Spiegel: And sleep. Sleep. Mandatory sleep.
I, I I'm I'm a, you know, 10, 12 hour a night girl. Like I, you know, have a five [00:38:13] hour people say, oh, I only get five hours of sleep. I'm like five hours. That's a nap. That's not a that's. That's like, you know, but that sleep really, really restores my brain so that I can get up and do it again.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's interesting. Sometimes I think it's almost like a badge, like, oh, I didn't sleep much and I don't sleep much. for me, I'd rather get sleep and sometimes I don't sleep well. And I, I like the days when I do, I mean, I feel much better too, so understand that.
Corey Spiegel: I'm a whole different person. I promise you, you probably do not want to interview me or talk to me had I the night before I'm not super friendly. It just really, really affects me so much. So I, I really, I put myself to bed early and make sure that I, that I get the rest.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, that's good. So as far as Light House goes, who's the ideal person to come to Light House, or maybe one or two situations?
Corey Spiegel: Yeah.
I mean, our, I would say our, our [00:39:13] demographic is women 35 to 80. Sweet spot is probably the, the 50, 60 year old, 40, 50, 60. But really it's designed an open to hit all of those life stages that we were talking about. That might be raising responsible kids.
And again, not when they're infants and toddlers, but really when they start to get to that teenage years where it's, you know, you're caring for loved ones. When your, your best friend has cancer and you're trying to navigate what that looks like, how you can be supportive. Maybe you're starting your own business, you know, and, you want to meet other women that are in the same boat that are getting their businesses off the ground?
There's a lot of wellness and mindfulness stuff that we do, whether it's sound baths or meditation practices. It's again, dealing with your stress levels. The, the person that is ideal for Light House is somebody that A, wants to talk and really wants to live a more intentional [00:40:13] and purposeful life and be more authentic and is willing to share their stories with others.
Someone that wants to meet new people outside of their circles, you know, this isn't bring your besties and all come in. The point is if your besties put them in different classes. Like, you know, you really want perspective and wisdom. So somebody that's open to seeking that. And somebody that just wants to find a bunch of new friends that they never thought they had for me, some of my bestest friends are people I've never even met.
They're online. They're in London, they're in Spain, they're in the Netherlands. They're in Africa, they're in the Hamptons. You know, haven't met these people, but I talk to them very regularly. We have a common denominator and you'd be amazed at, you know, how much conversation and friendship and love and support goes into that when you're all dealing with the same thing.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. Yeah, [00:41:13] that's really cool. And it is, it is fun. Like, I mean, one benefit of what's happened in the last couple of years is there's been this ability to re-calibrate how we feel about online connection, right. And I I'm meeting some women on Friday, who I met on in Clubhouse, that app Clubhouse, and we all met in this like creatives group for England that I just joined
cause you know, you had time and now it's these cool women that one's an artist, one's a photographer. We're going to some art museum thing or art installation. I would have never gone to that. But now they asked me. just cool, you know, and we can meet now, but like I have some friends that are in different countries too that I just met online just from comedy gigs.
And so it's a similar thing where, and you are close and you are connected even though you've never met. And, but like 10 years ago, when you would say something like that, people thought it was kind of weird now it's normal. Now it's just how it is.
Corey Spiegel: And it was so interesting because when I was launching Light House and the first two years of my business, I was incredibly [00:42:13] insistent about it being in person. And it was, and the feeling was exactly what we were talking about earlier. I'm a master multitasker and the likelihood of you getting me on a conference call and doing your laundry, feeding the dogs, responding to an email, you know, sending out a letter, whatever I was doing, it was all happening simultaneously.
But when you're in person and you put that phone down, you're looking at somebody. You are sitting in someone's joy and their fear and their sadness. You're present. You're like, I'm not moving until I know that you're okay or they're not leaving you until they realize that you're okay
as well. When I had no choice, but to open up these classes and events to go virtually, I was blown away how receptive other people were about meeting to talk and to continuing the depth of conversation so that they didn't feel alone. And [00:43:13] the fact that all of these people from around the world were finding out about me.
I remember some woman from the Netherlands called in and I said, I don't mean to sound unprofessional. Like, how did you find me? Like, I'm so happy to know you, but how on earth did you even hear about us? And it really was just very humbling and it's been extraordinary and I've met some of the most incredible people that I really, really look forward to meeting in real life in person soon.
Rabiah (Host): That's wonderful. And I do think that just forming those connections is super important. It's really, I like that it's expanded your way of looking at your business too, because also the one thing with online is it became more accessible to people, which is something I didn't think about personally, because that's not been a barrier for me, but just that people either who couldn't maybe afford to be transported somewhere or transport themselves, or physically couldn't get places now they can just be online, which is amazing.
Corey Spiegel: Yeah. And I was always worried about like, [00:44:13] I'm over Zoom. I can't get on another Zoom call, but some of the stuff, not all of it, some of the stuff is you actually probably might feel more comfortable being in the privacy of your own home to have this conversation, even though you're looking at other people and they can still see you.
Sometimes people prefer that at least until they feel comfortable to then take an in-person class. There are, there are a lot of added benefits to it.
Rabiah (Host): Oh, awesome. So, we've talked quite a bit about what you do and your habits , but do you have any advice or mantra that you just like to share with people that kind of as a touchstone for you?
Corey Spiegel: I'm always taking advice and stuff from other people, you know? I think right now it's just try. it's very simple. It's you don't know what you don't know and you know, if there's something that you?
want to do, then, then work hard and, and lay it out and keep at it.
And , there's going to be so many [00:45:13] times that you're gonna fall. I continue to fall every day, but you also get back up and, I encourage people to do that just one or the other one day at a time. And
Rabiah (Host): And sleep. Yeah. Great.
Rabiah (Host): The next set of questions I have is the Fun Five. They're just five more fun questions that I'd like to ask everybody. So the first one, what's the oldest t-shirt you have still wear?
Corey Spiegel: Well, that's easy. I went to the University of Pittsburgh. So the oldest, it's a sweatshirt, it's not actually a t-shirt, but it is my Pitts sweatshirt that I bought freshman year. You know, also known as 1922. And it is tattered and hold and has been washed a million times. So it's got giant holes in it, but it's still together.
My daughter now wears it to death. My husband has worn it to death. My son has worn it. You know, [00:46:13] it's like one of those things, like we throw it in the wash, we never heard it in the dryer. It just needs to be handled with care. If I didn't love it so much and still wear.
it, I would probably have it framed, , and put it somewhere in my office just because I have so much love for it.
But we're still in the wearing phase. So, we won't retire that. And so it's literally, it can't be worn by anybody else.
Rabiah (Host): Awesome. That sounds like a really nice sweatshirt actually. I like how it's community.
Corey Spiegel: Our family only, I, Yeah, someone said, can I borrow that? I'm like, absolutely not. Absolutely not. no I'm sorry. You're cold, but no,
Rabiah (Host): I agree. Those are good boundaries.
Corey Spiegel: Yeah, see.
Rabiah (Host): All right. So it felt like a bit like Groundhog's Day during the lockdown times everywhere. So if every day was really Groundhog's Day, what song would you ever, your alarm clock play every morning?
Corey Spiegel: Oh Early in the Morning by The Gap Band.
I mean, there's in that song there are, I believe roosters crowing in the open to the song. And it's like, [00:47:13] okay, here we go. Another day, let's get out of bed. Let's go and do this. But you should listen to it. It's very motivating and soulful.
Rabiah (Host): Cool. And I'll check it out. And I have a Spotify playlist with everyone's songs on and it's just become A bit weird, but yeah. So
Corey Spiegel: this is a good one. This
is a
Rabiah (Host): that'd be a good
addition. Okay, cool. And coffee or tea or neither?
Corey Spiegel: T I have never had a cup of coffee in my life. But my chai tea latte with almond milk,
it's mandatory. It is absolutely. I can't function without it. I just need it in the morning to wake up. And then. And then I'm going to be like definitely tea, definitely tea. And you being in London, I have to imagine tea
Rabiah (Host): I have had way more tea than I ever had. I just still a coffee person, but I do have tea instead of coffee sometimes when I realized that's just having good judgment.
Corey Spiegel: I'm going to think like, an English, proper breakfast tea for you would be, you know, it's a ritual in London. It's part of what you do.
Rabiah (Host): Yeah. So I do have a lot more tea than I [00:48:13] used to for sure. Can you think of something that like makes you laugh, sorry to cry, or just cracks you up or last time that happened? I like to hear what, what makes people tick in that way?
Corey Spiegel: You know, that's actually an easy question for me to answer. That would be my bestest friend in New Jersey and the sheer thought seeing her face. I can hear her laughing without even seeing her face. But we have such a raw conversation and relationship that nothing is off the table and we keep it real.
And the dialogue, the exchange, it's just priceless. And again, anytime I think of any conversation, any of them? I, it, it, it hurts my stomach. Cause I already feel that the big belly laugh coming on.
Rabiah (Host): Well that made me smile, just cause my best friend is like that. Like we just start laughing
Corey Spiegel: yeah, you just like it, the worst possible situation you could ever imagine. You will find the humor in it, or we will [00:49:13] find the, like, it's so bad that you can't even believe that you said that, but honey It is you need, you need people like that. and. she's, she's it for me.
Rabiah (Host): Awesome. All right. And the last one who inspires you right now?
Corey Spiegel: There are a lot of people that inspire me right now. I think to answer that question as of today, I, I would say anybody that is choosing to live their life authentically and showing up to do so. It's, you know, somebody that is really looking to go through personal growth and is, again, it's not willing just to do it, but it's really willing to do the work and make the effort and make the time It's not an easy thing to do at all.
So I have tremendous respect and admiration for the people that are choosing to make that a part of their lives. People that are choosing to say no to the things that [00:50:13] they really just don't want to do whether that's meeting different friends or getting away from toxic relationships or staying in when everyone else is going out or starting a new business it's at the worst possible time or any of those things, people that are taking a risk to do something that they're authentically passionate about. Those are the people that I want to surround myself with. And those are the people that are really inspiring me. Living their truth.
Rabiah (Host): That's great. And I think, yeah, you're right about surrounding yourself with those people. So speaking of that how do people find Light House and also find you, cause someone might just want to find you also and sign up?
Corey Spiegel: Yeah, I mean, please, my, my website is find your light house and that's L I G H T. H O U S E dot com (findyourlighthouse.com). And they should check the schedule there for classes and events because, you know, every week they change.[00:51:13] People can reach out and email me .Directly. I'm Corey, C O R E Y at find your light house dot com (corey@findyourlighthouse.com). And there's always ways to get in touch with us through the website as well.
But you can definitely see, you know, people that we partner with the types of classes we offer. I always encourage people to go to the website to see the testimonials, because it's very easy for me to sit and shout from the rooftops of how great we are and how much pride I have. And obviously I'm going to feel that as the, as the owner.
To hear and see it from other people that have participated in our classes that are still participating in our classes. It's a completely different thing. And no, I don't only put the good ones on there. I put all of them that are real. And I think people can make their own opinions about What they see, what they like.
And also just based on the topics, come try it out. Your first class is free. So, nothing to lose [00:52:13] other than, okay. do I feel safe? Do I feel, that this is something that's speaking to me right now? And am I open enough to meeting others that are going through it and, and learning and growing.
And at the end of the day, laughing, you gotta, you gotta laugh?
Rabiah (Host): Yeah, I agree. Well, thanks, Corey. It's been really great talking to you.
Corey Spiegel: Thank you. so much. I really appreciate it. It's really nice to meet you. Thank you for having me.
Rabiah (Host): Thanks for listening. You can learn more about the guest and what was talked about in the show notes. Joe Maffia created the music you're listening to. You can find him on Spotify at Joe M A F F I A. Rob Metke does all the design for which we are so grateful. You can find him online by searching Rob M E T K E.
Please leave review if you'd like to show. And get in touch if you have feedback or guest ideas. The pod is on all the social channels at at more than word pod (@morethanworkpod) or at Rabiah Comedy (@rabiahcomedy) on TikTok. And the website is more than work pod dot com (morethanworkpod.com). While being kind to others, don't forget to be kind to yourself.[00:53:13]
